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A Tila Tequila sex tape does not exist. How can we be so certain? Because Tila Tequila – the same woman who lied about a pregnancy and an adoption and faked a suicide attempt – claims there is one.

In an interview with Radar Online, Tila says an ex-boyfriend is trying to extort her, threatening to expose a video of the pair going at it unless she shells out $75,000.

“He has the audacity to not only betray me with the love that I had for him, but to use that to exploit me and hurt me,” Tequila says, using big words we didn’t think she knew existed. “This is extortion and my lawyers are fully aware and are fighting back by filing an injunction against him.”

Mischa Barton at a Fashion Show
(Getty Images for New York Fashion Week: The Shows)

Right. Because the last thing someone as classy and someone so shy about publicity as Tila would want is for a sex tape to get out.

 

Tequila says she is “disgusted, angry and appalled” by these “desperate and pathetic actions.” She goes on to taunt the ex-boyfriend, who she doesn’t name, likely because he doesn’t exist:

“You better hold on to that sex tape because that’s the only sex you’ll get to watch once you’re sent to jail!”

Snaps, yo! Watch Tila go off on a rant about the alleged video below:

Mischa Barton at a Fashion Show
(Getty Images for New York Fashion Week: The Shows)