Here's The Situation (On His Book Cover)

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Bestseller list? Meet Mike Sorrentino.

The reality star has just released his book, Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore.

Trumpeted as "the bible for Situation Nation," Here's the Situation is a guide to the guido lifestyle, from cooking pasta to beating up the beat and "getting it in."

You may vomit on cue.

Here's the Situation ... in book form!

Sayeth Sitch himself, "This book will take your game to a level thought unattainable, given your physical limitations. From there it's my guide to the Jersey Shore."

By that he means forging battle plans for the club, with a primer on grenades and wingmen, and tips for ridding yourself of all levels of clinger. Standard.

Okay, that's false advertising. Anyone who saw Jersey Shore last week knows he sucks as a wingman and is a grenade magnet. Avoiding them? Please.