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If anonymous sources, lacking any evidence whatsoever, are to be believed, Kim Kardashian is pregnant.

The clear proof of Kim’s expecting state lies in the eyewitness account of an employee at a pharmacy in London, who told Life & Style this week that the world’s most famous reality star picked up a trio of home pregnancy tests on Sunday.

A teen mother’s baby is in danger and on drugs and.. wait, Kim Kardashian has cravings?!?!?

Kim Kardashian and Kanye in NYC
Photo via Getty Images

“She picked up three Clearblue tests,” said the source. “I did a double-take, as I couldn’t believe it was her.”

The magazine goes on to say that it doesn’t know the results of these kits, but “all signs certainly point to a positive reading.”

Among those positive signs? Kim has mostly drank water during public events over the last few weeks; she’s eaten a lot of pasta recently; and, as an insider says:

“Kim has swapped her trademark skintight dresses for a lot of loose fitting tops and even ponchos. It’s been a sudden transition from one to the other.”

There you have it, folks! A baby is obviously on the way for Kardashian and, we presume, Miles Austin. The only remaining question: What will he or she be named? Kleo? Kory? Kandi? We’ll likely find out in next week’s fallacious cover story.