As we gear up toward what can only be described as an epic series finale July 13, the penultimate episode of The Hills certainly featured a lot of things going on.
Some of them possibly even real!
Heidi Montag’s sister Holly and Darlene Egelhoff, their mom, lamented that Heidi has gone totally off the rails. They’ve been trying to reach her but can’t.
Kristin Cavallari puts it all out there and says she has feelings for Brody Jenner, but he isn’t really reciprocating the fake love. Lo and Stephanie also star.
Here’s THG’s recap of Tuesday’s The Hills, “Loves Me Not” …
O RLY? YA RLY: Brody ignores Kristin and texts “someone else.”
Stephanie, Lo and Holly talk about the ca-ra-zy drama that went down in Costa Rica over lunch. Gotta rehash all the details, and totally naturally. Plus 5.
Brody says he’s hanging out with a new girl. How come The Hills calls “Ryan Cabrera” by first and last name, yet won’t say Avril Lavigne at all? Minus 5.
Brody’s friend Josh, who races motorcycles, introduces himself to Stephanie Pratt, and the pair have an instant connection – they don’t drink. Plus 4.
Holly Montag picks her mom up from the airport. They’ll have to wait for Heidi to come around. Minus 3 for falsely getting our hopes up for Speidi, Hills.
Kristin tells Stacie how Brody wants to talk and it’s, like, her chance to finally tell him how she feels. Minus 6, because it’s really the producers’ chance.
SIDEKICK STEPH: She-Pratt’s falling fast and hard for a new man.
Holly tries calling, but her voicemail isn’t activated. We’re sure that’s real, much like Spencer’s apology to LC, which she wasn’t actually listening to. Minus 5.
Scott surprises Lo on their one year anniversary by asking her if she wants to move in together. Plus 7, because while we really don’t care, they’re very sweet!
Kristin lays it all out there. Brody says he’s sorry, but he’s met someone else. Minus 14 because we know this, and Kristin does too, and it’s a famous musician.
Nearly lost for words, Darlene tells Holly that since Heidi Montag has been gone, it feels like she’s mourning the loss of a child. Not at all melodramatic. Plus 8.
Kristin cries when she tells Lo that Brody rejected her and is seeing someone else. Bull$h!t, since she’s dating Miguel Medina, a Hills cameraman! Minus 20.
TOTAL: -27. SEASON: -41.