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Breaking her silence for the first time since the now-infamous Mel Gibson tapes were leaked, Oksana Grigorieva says she recorded him because she feared for her life, and that his response (or lack thereof) amounts to a trivializing of domestic violence.

Oksana told her unofficial mouthpiece Radar Online all about the custody fight for daughter Lucia, Gibson’s vile rants and the disturbing abuse photos.

“I’m devastated. Everybody’s devastated,” Grigorieva said, adding that with her ex’s silence, “I think Mel, basically, is trivializing domestic violence.”

“It is unfair that by standing up to somebody – and speaking out – I am being victimized all over again. He has hurt so many people,” Oksana said.

Grigorieva says she recorded and saved the phone calls and voicemails from an enraged Gibson that have sparked so much controversy out of fear.

“I didn’t think I was going to make it through the night,” she explains.

Oksana says Mel needs to tell the truth.

“Everything, by the way, this is really important, all of the tapes that you hear on the Internet, all of them were recorded that one night. The tapes, as you call them, the voicemails, everything was recorded that night because I was in fear for my life.”

“I really did not think I was going to make it.”

Gibson hasn’t publicly commented on Grigorieva’s claims, but his attorneys say he did not hit Oksana and have tried to cast doubt on all evidence.

For her part, Oksana denies extortion allegations by Mel’s legal team: “It is all false information he is feeding the press. It is a smear campaign.”

Saying that a court order prevents her from revealing details, she pleaded to Mel: “Speak the truth, tell the truth, for the sake of your daughter.”

Authorities are still investigating both the extortion charge against Oksana Grigorieva, as well as domestic violence claims against Mel Gibson.