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On The Tonight Show last night, Simon Cowell was his usual self: witty, charming and open about everything.

First, he was asked about girlfriend Mezhgan Hussainy and told Jay Leno that he’ll marry her “within the next ten years. This prompted the unfunny host to actually invite Hussainy onto the stage with her man.

She squeezed in close to Simon and laughed when he said:

“I always said if I was going to get engaged, I’d get engaged to a makeup artist,” adding that he gets “at least three touch-ups a night,” if you know what Simon means!

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About his plans for children, Simon replied: “I’m kind of torn because I’m a bit too old to have kids but then I think it would be awesome to have a lot of mes running around.”

Among other topics Cowell goes into above: how much he misses Paula Abdul, whether they’ll work together again and why he likes Crystal Bowersox a lot this season.