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In news only slightly less obvious than if Jon Gosselin held a press conference to proclaim himself king of all douchebags, Mark McGwire admitted steroid use.

“I used steroids during my playing career and I apologize,” McGwire said in a statement released by his former team, the St. Louis Cardinals, to U.S. media outlets.

“I remember trying steroids very briefly in the 1989-1990 off season and then after I was injured in 1993, I used steroids again,” he confessed. “I used them on occasion throughout the ’90s, including during the 1998 season.”

“I wish I had never touched steroids. It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish that I had never played during the steroid era.”

Mark McGwire: Powered by human growth hormone milk.

McGwire said that in addition to his family, he called commissioner Bud Selig and Cardinals manager Tony La Russa earlier in the day to personally apologize.

In 1998, McGwire broke the single-season home run record held by Roger Maris.

“Big Mac” hit 70 that season, a record that stood until another player juiced out of his freaking mind, Barry Bonds, broke it in 2002 with 73 round-trippers.

The reason McGwire acknowledge the use in a statement today, he said, was because of his imminent return to professional baseball as the Cardinals hitting coach.

Called before Congress in 2005, McGwire famously said “I’m not here to talk about the past” about 79 times when asked if he used performance-enhancing drugs.

He officially claims a place among the great, tainted players of the past 10 years, including that dick Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Roger Clemens and Alex Rodriguez.