Last night on The Hills, Justin-Bobby cast his familiar spell over both Kristin and Audrina, while Holly Montag was enraptured by something else toxic: Alcohol.
As always, The Hollywood Gossip looks back the previous night's episode of The Hills (as we do for The City) awarding and taking away points as we see fit ...
Kristin Cavallari's dad on Brody Jenner: "Is he still in love with himself?" Plus 4.
Kristin on Brody and Jayde Nicole: "They're one of those couples that's either all over each other in public or screaming and breaking up." So true! Plus 3.
Audrina Patridge hangs out with Justin's buddy Derek, who notes that Audrina and Justin were off-and-on for four years. Four years! Belated Minus 7.
Reflecting on Justin ditching her at Brody's, Kristin insists she's gonna make him work for it. Her annoying hair flipping tells us this is untrue. Minus 5.
Holly Montag gets plastered at Brent Bolthouse's Photo Exhibit. Plus 11 for leaving even Spencer speechless, and Plus 2 more for Holly's classic drunk-girl line: "Like, I feel like every second of my life is the greatest second of my life!"
Obligatory Minus 2 for Stephanie Pratt's awful plastic surgery, but Plus 9 for the irony of her commenting on Holly's drinking problem when just last Sunday, Stephanie got arrested for DUI ... after Holly's wild birthday party!
Spencer calls Holly the "girl version of Spencer Pratt" in referencing her drinking too much. Still, you can tell he kind of means it as a compliment. Plus 3.
Holly Montag arrives at Speidi's intervension and orders a margarita in the first five seconds. Perhaps a Mexican restaurant wasn't the best venue. Plus 5.
Justin-Bobby cooks Kristin dinner and half-heartedly apologizes for flaking on Brody's party. Naturally, Kristin's defenses (and pants) drop. He disposes of his shirt, they meander into the bedroom and bone. Absolutely pathetic. Minus 5.
For whatever reason, Audrina meets Justin-Bobby for drinks. He says nothing compares to her and that he and Kristin aren't together. He says she shouldn't hang out with Derek again. She agrees. Absolutely beyond pathetic. Minus 10.
TOTAL: +8! SEASON TOTAL: +38! The Hills thrives on such things, but a Justin-Bobby love triangle is hard to be enthralled by. We can't believe we're saying this, but more Speidi! Hopefully Stephanie's DUI was caught on tape.