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In doing the media rounds for her new movie Love Happens, Jennifer Aniston has said she still believes in love and that she will one day find “The One.”

That hasn’t stopped celebrity gossip publications from tripping over one another to report that she’s a lonely, pathetic, desperate middle-aged hag, though.

Last night, The Soup suggested Us, In Touch, Star and Life & Style join forces to create a new magazine, Jennifer Aniston is Going to Die Alone Weekly.

Who wouldn’t want 52 issues a year jam packed with made-up sources talking about an obviously fat and crying woman plotting revenge on Angelina …

The Soup on Jennifer Aniston

If you call 1-800-55-LOSER now, you will even get a bonus subscription to Jessica Simpson Looks Fat Weekly. That’s over 5,000 pages per year of unflattering Jessica Simpson pictures at over 80 percent off the cover price!

What a steal.