With apologies to Liam McDermott and both of Denise Richards’ daughters, the most exploited celebrity baby alive has a birthday today.
Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead turns three years old, an occasion her pimp-like father will likely celebrate by taking her to mom Anna Nicole Smith’s grave and inviting photographers along for the ride.
That’s just how he rolls.
A year ago, Larry Birkhead milked this occasion for all the money he could, placing Dannielynn’s adorable mug on the cover of a supermarket tabloid. It’s the gift that keeps on giving cash into his bank account and years of therapy to his child.
Today, we just wanna wish Dannielynn a safe, happy, healty, unexploitive birthday. Hurry up and turn 18 so you can emancipate yourself from your money-hungry dad.
** Update: Dannielynn actually turned three years old on September 7. But we stand by everything else in this story!