Happy Birthday, Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead!

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With apologies to Liam McDermott and both of Denise Richards' daughters, the most exploited celebrity baby alive has a birthday today.

Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead turns three years old, an occasion her pimp-like father will likely celebrate by taking her to mom Anna Nicole Smith's grave and inviting photographers along for the ride.

That's just how he rolls.

A year ago, Larry Birkhead milked this occasion for all the money he could, placing Dannielynn's adorable mug on the cover of a supermarket tabloid. It's the gift that keeps on giving cash into his bank account and years of therapy to his child.

Dannielynn Birkhead Kentucky Derby Pic

Today, we just wanna wish Dannielynn a safe, happy, healty, unexploitive birthday. Hurry up and turn 18 so you can emancipate yourself from your money-hungry dad.

** Update: Dannielynn actually turned three years old on September 7. But we stand by everything else in this story!

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