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Jennifer Love Hewitt is a mediocre actress with large breasts and many ex-boyfriends.

Naturally, this makes her an expert on love and dating, as The Ghost Whisperer star will be penning an advice book called “The Day I Shot Cupid.”

Of the project, she says:

“Throughout my career, there has always been so much written about my love life. Some true, but mostly made up. I thought it was time to share the real story of what I’ve learned navigating the dating waters. Hopefully, in addition to having a good laugh, women reading this will learn from some of my hard lessons.”

Those hard lessons, which every woman out there can relate to, involve dumping Carson Daly via a radio show and having John Mayer write a song about her “wonderland” of a body. Tough times, indeed.

Our staff has actually gotten our hands on an early copy of Hewitt’s book. Various chapters are titled:

  • Can’t Hardly Wait to Find Love, Make Money Off Morons That Would Buy This
  • Will You Join My Party of Two Giant Boobs?
  • The Dirty Words Whisperer
  • I’m Dating a Major Dork and You Can, Too!