Kelly Clarkson is Not a Lesbian

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We interrupt the latest round of American Idol season eight updates to bring you this breaking news related to a former show champion:

Kelly Clarkson is not a lesbian.

In a recent interview, the original Idol victor says she gets asked about her sexual preference "all the time." Her reply to those vagina-laden individuals that wish to take the singer home?

"I’m like, 'I’m glad it works for you and I wish I liked women like that because oftentimes men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys.'"

Sorry, Tila Tequila.

Kelly Clarkson has nothing against boobs. But she only wants to fondle her own.