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Proving that she doesn’t need a disgraced, hockey-playing ex making lewd comments about her in order to make celebrity news headlines, the NHL’s hottest neighborhood bicycle, Elisha Cuthbert, heats up the pages of Complex magazine.

The actress hasn’t been in anything noteworthy in a while, but she’s still the hottest export from Canada since … well, Evangeline Lilly. Sorry, Elisha.

Yowza. We’re pretty sure this sentence has never been spoken before in the history of the English language, but you are one lucky man, Dion Phaneuf. And we’re not talking about the Calgary Flames’ lead in the Northwest Division.

Click to enlarge more Elisha Cuthbert photos from Complex …