Ashley Kaufman is just 13 years old.
Sadly, though, we can expect a drug problem, sex tape and terrible singing career to plague this teenager any day now.
It’s been confirmed that Kaufmann is a member of the Lohan family, as DNA tests prove Michael Lohan knocked up Ashley’s mom Kristi in 1995.
Dina Lohan is reportedly already working on a reality show, welcoming Ashley into Hollywood’s most attention-hungry family. Run for your life, little one!
Hold on to your innocence, Ashley Kaufmann. Hold on to it like half-sister Lindsay holds on to a vodka tonic!