Like some sort of governor with a rifle inside a helicopter, taking aim at a defenseless moose, Levi Johnston has his sights set on parenthood.
The soon-to-be son-in-law of Sarah Palin, and impending father to a baby with Bristol Palin, has spoken out to a reporter from the Associated Press. Here's what young Levi had to say. Forgive The Hollywood Gossip staff from editorializing when necessary, we couldn't help it...
On marrying Bristol: "We were planning on getting married a long time ago with or without the kid."
** THG Note: A long time ago, huh, Levi? You're 18, Bristol is 17. She's six months pregnant. Were you planning this marriage over an Easy Bake Oven, or during an episode of Barney and Friends?
On being a father: "I'm looking forward to having him. I'm going to take him hunting and fishing. He'll be everywhere with me... We're up for it. I'm excited to have my first kid. It's going to be a lot of hard work, but we can handle it."
** THG Note: Sort of like the Iraq war. After impregnating Bristol, we wonder if Levi hung a banner in the bedroom that read Emission Accomplished.
Levi Johnston was nervous before appearing on stage at the Republican National Convention in August... but whatever.
On joining the Sarah Palin campaign, which included sitting in open view at the Republican National Convention: "At first, I was nervous. Then I was like, 'Whatever.'"
** THG Note: This is actually more articulate than Governor Palin has been about her foreign policy experience.
On Barack Obama: "I don't know anything about him. He seems like a good guy. I like him."
** THG Note: You don't know anything about him, Levi? Seriously, do they have access to national newspapers, the Internet and/or news channels in Alaska?
On Sarah Palin: "I just hope she wins. She's my future mother-in-law. She better win."