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In actuality, current and former employees of Rob Lowe weren’t nearly as creative in their defense of him as The Hollywood Gossip staff was in the headline above.

Nevertheless, they have spoken to People Magazine about the sexual harassment claims made by Lowe’s former nanny, Jessica Gibson.

Carol Andrade, Lowe’s estate manager, defended the actor in a written declaration given to Lowe’s legal team. It reads:

Rob Lowe Snapshot
Photo via Getty Images for iHeartMedia

“Jessica never told me … that Rob ever said or did anything that she found inappropriate or offensive or that made her feel uncomfortable … or made sexual advances toward her.”

Seen here at the premiere for Thank You for Smoking, Rob Lowe and wife Sheryl are saying “Thank you for sucking!” to former employee Jessica Gibson.

Meanwhile, Jennifer Dynof, president of tremendously-named Lowe Profile, a company owned by Lowe, similarly stated that she’d never witnessed any questionable behavior by her employer.

“[In the past four years working for Rob], I have never seen him make any sexual advances toward any other woman or act inappropriately, offensively or disrespectfully toward any woman,” Dynof said.

Both employees added they would testify in court if need be.