For Lauren Conrad, it's apparently tough to find a BFF and roommate with a boyfriend who doesn't suck. And turn her into a mother hen, of sorts.
The beautiful star of The Hills found herself in a somewhat familiar area Monday night, playing the third wheel as her roommate dated a new "hot" guy.
Only this time it's not Heidi Montag, but new BFF, Audrina Patridge, and on-again boyfriend, Justin... whose friends, of course, call him Bobby. Thus, Justin-Bobby.
What's J-B's actual name? We have no idea. Nor would we care, except that Audrina Patridge is apparently too clueless to give this assbag the boot.
After a standoffish meeting with Lauren - the guy showcased his belching skillz and displayed the maturity of an eight-year-old in an upscale eatery (no joke) - Conrad will likely have less-nice, more descriptive nicknames for Justin-Bobby.
Mumbling, hiding under a hood and telling Lauren Conrad bluntly that he doesn't care about her opinion, Justin-Bobby is shaping up to be a worthy competitor for Spencer.
The scheming Spencer Pratt does a much better job of making himself compelling to watch, though - even the haters have to give him that.
Despite a desire not to hurt Lauren, who told her she should pull the plug, Audrina nonetheless found herself back with the motorcycle-riding bad boy by the episode's end.
As Lauren Conrad herself knows, sometimes the bad boys are the hardest to let go of. But will LC give Audrina flak for giving Justin-Bobby this second chance?
In other dysfunctional relationship news, the newly engaged Heidi Montag showed off her fake engagement ring at work, then struggled to set the ground rules for cohabitation. Her methods of choice were passive-agressive - and entertaining!
After Spencer Pratt "surprised" his lovely lover with vintage '80s arcade games and a graffiti-splashed living room wall, and didn't listen to her pleas for even a little input as to home decor, Heidi gave him a taste of his own medicine.
Spencer came home to find Heidi paint-rolling over his "artwork," offering him his very own "surprise" - a clean, plain, off-white wall!
Pratt fumed as Montag explained that if they plan to make this "engagement thing" work, they're going to have to make decisions together. Spencer was seething as he agreed as he stared forlornly at his once glorious wall. In a moment, though, he picked up a roller and finished off Heidi's project.
Is Spencer now thinking pal Brody Jenner may have been right when he said marriage was just an institution for dumb guys who can't get otherwise laid?
Who knows. But next week on The Hills, Spencer ditches a Brody BBQ to meet Heidi's parents in Colorado, while Brody and LC commiserate over their lost friendships. Meanwhile, Audrina encounters drama with Justin-Bobby - drama everyone in America saw coming but her!