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First, it was strippers and porn. Then gambling and choking of the proverbial chicken.

Now it’s a footstool, rugs and a king-size bed that have taken center stage in the divorce case of Anne Heche and estranged buffoon Coley Laffoon.

In documents filed in L.A. Superior Court, Coleman “Coley” Laffoon accuses Anne Heche of taking a number of items – including the master bedroom and yoga-room rugs – from the L.A. home they share.

Under the terms of a judge’s temporary order, they alternate use of the house they share whenever Heche is in L.A. That’s about as normal as Britney Spears‘ relationship with her mom.

Coley Laffoon is now asking that the court order the actress to return the property and prohibit her from removing any more items.

Laffoon also alleges that when he returned to the home July 1 and found the furniture missing, he “discovered that [Anne Heche] had gone into my closet and ripped the buttons off of 19 of my shirts and removed some of my pants.”

As crazy as Anne Heche clearly is, come on man. Who needs pants when you just sit around and download nude celebrity photos online and … well, you know.

You know what we’re saying, right, Kevin Blatt?

Anne Heche denies Laffoon’s claims, and says that all the items she took – her list includes four pillows from Bali, pink bedding and a “picture of saint” – were hers.

“All of the furniture, furnishings, artwork, etc. that was acquired during marriage and paid for with funds earned during the marriage remains at the home,” she says in court papers.

The furniture fracas comes weeks after a judge ruled the former couple’s 5-year-old son Homer will live with his loser father in L.A. while Heche films Men in Trees in Canada.

He will have alternate weekend visits with Anne Heche, a one-time and possibly future lesbian, while she shoots the ABC show.

Laffoon, 33, a former videographer who married Heche in 2001, filed for divorce in February, triggering a war of words and custody dispute.

He has questioned Heche’s lack of parenting and sanity, and accused the actress of resorting to lies to win custody of – and destroy his relationship with – their son.

Heche, who is dating her Men In Trees co-star, James Tupper, has defended her parenting and accused Laffoon of making outrageous financial demands.