You may not know who Coley Laffoon is, but surely the latter half of this headline doesn't come as a huge shock to you.
Laffoon, Anne Heche's absurdly-named, soon-to-be-ex-hubby, claims that he's worried that the actress isn't psychologically capable of caring for their son... and says she refuses to see a shrink!
In court papers filed this month in L.A. County Superior Court, Coley Laffoon asks a judge for joint custody of the couple's 5-year-old son, Homer, and claims that Heche may be unfit for parenthood.
Specifically, he says that the "bizarre, delusional behavior" and "poor parenting skills" of Heche, who once dated Ellen DeGeneres, could be a problem.
In the papers, Laffoon claims that Anne eschews car seats like Britney Spears, and that she often cusses in front of the child, as well as routinely packing school lunches that Homer "did not like."
Laffoon believes that his prior experience as a nanny and a summer camp counselor justify giving him joint custody. It may also justify him as a Grade A tool.
Laffoon is also asking for $33,000 a month in spousal support, even though he claims he only made $6,000 a year as a videographer before the two were married.
Anne Heche makes $81,000 an episode for her role in "Men In Trees."
Laffoon filed for divorce February 2, 2007. Right around that time, his formerly lesbian wife took up with her co-star, James Tupper. Rumors that Heche and Tupper were more than co-stars surfaced even before the divorce filing.
A spokesperson for Anne Heche released the following statement:
It is disappointing that Coley Laffoon has resorted to filing lies with the court because Anne Heche would not cave in to his astronomical monetary demands, including his demand for $45,000 a month in support. For the past several years, the child's father has refused to get a job in order to contribute financially to the child's care.
And not just because his name is Homer. His parents are nuts.