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Who has the finest cleavage of the land? Has that sentence ever been used before in the history of the English language? It’s very difficult to say.

Both questions, that is. But here we have two extremely worthy candidates battling it out to answer the former. Jessica Simpson (left) is certainly well endowed in that department, while Scarlett Johansson (right) is not what you might call a slouch herself. See below:

Jessica Simpson Is 4 Years Sober
Photo via Instagram

Come to think of it, why do we have to pick a winner? Much like debating whether Lindsay Lohan or Nicole Richie is the bigger train wreck, there’s often no concrete distinction. Some prizes are just meant to be shared. So let’s have a round of applause for the real hero here — what a close friend of T.H. Gossip once termed “the top-of-boobs shirt.”

We salute you, top-of-boobs shirt. We salute you.