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We wonder what sort of sex Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman have.

Sorry, we’re not typically THAT sort of gossip rag, but revelations from Jake’s ex, Kirsten Dunst, have our mind in the gutter. The actress spoke – in detail – about her life with Gyllenhaal between the sheets. And everywhere else.

Jake Gyllenhaal & Jeff Bauman Throw Out First Pitch at Red Sox Game
(Adam Glanzman)

“We tried to spice things up – we had sex in cars, in the bathroom and even by the sea. The only place we didn’t have the guts to try was in a walkway in a hotel because we thought we might get kicked out if we were caught.”

We don’t wanna be the ones to break it to you, Kirsten, but perhaps Jake knew, even then, that only Lance Armstrong could capture his heart.

The Spider-man actress currently stars as Marie Antoniette, but she opened up more to talk of her secret sadness at the break-up and her hopes for the future.

“Jake was the love of my life,” she said. “He was, is and always will be. “Despite what has happened, though, I still have this whole fairytale vision in my head because I was brought up on movies and storybooks that say I’m going to find my soulmate, get married and have a perfect life.”

You are 24, Kirsten, there’s still time. If things don’t work out between President Bush and Matt Lauer, you never know. After all, you are looking for a freak, right?
“Maybe I’m a weird girl and I just needed a good freak to match me.”

The White House is waiting for your call …