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Here’s a natural chain of well-known beauties: Marilyn Monroe. Princess Di. Paris Hilton.

Referring to herself as the “iconic blonde” of this decade, none other than Paris herself made the above comparison in a recent interview with the Sunday Times of London. Would you expect anything less from the pampered pet lover?

Yes? No problem! Hilton also claims she’s similar to another (FAR better looking) blonde because she plays a role “like Jessica Simpson plays dumb.” Moreover, Paris thinks “there’s nobody in the world like me.”

That could also be said of the Unabomber.

Carter Reum, Wife

The new singer gave this interview to Giles Hattersley, a writer for the Times – and, oddly enough, Hilton’s former roomate. Our least favorite human being in the world went in to say “there are a lot of heiresses out there, and I don’t see any of them doing what I’ve done.”

That’s true. Who else can pretend to sing while sleeping with every other professional athlete on the planet?

How about those fights, Paris? Do you really court controversy and bitch slaps everywhere you go?

“I’m non-confrontational. Certain girls just use me to get media attention … because a feud with Paris Hilton always gets press.”

Paris Hilton makes a good point about Paris Hilton. We’re sure Lindsay Lohan, for instance, is really a close pal. No way the pair ever exchanged heated words at in a New York nightclub over Lohan’s interaction with Hilton’s ex, Stavros Niarchos?

“That was crap. She’s never even hung out with Stavros. He thinks she’s pathetic.”

Nope, defininitely no feud there. Hattersley actually recalls that Paris was once just “a warm witty girl who always made a point of emptying the dishwasher.”

Now? The only thing she empties is her stomach after meals.