Tila Tequila

Tila Tequila is back in the news.

So, she isn't starring in a new sex tape. And, no, she is not being accused of murder.

Instead, the large-breasted former reality star is simply converting to Judaism. Of course.

"As time passed, I started to become more and more fascinated with Kabbalah, the culture, and the way of life of the reform Judaism religion," Tila tells TMZ. "I just feel like the Jewish people have such a beautiful way about them, and I can't wait to officially be Jewish! Shabbat Shalom."

Will she go Orthodox? Nope. The woman who has partly made a living off participation in threeways says that direction is "a little hardcore for me."

[Photo: WENN.com]

Tila Tequila has not really made news since campaigning to be Charlie Sheen's next goddess in March.

But the rarely-clothed former reality and sex tape star is in the headlines today because she's celebrating a major birthday: the big 3-0. How will you honor the occasion? With a Tila Tequila Uncorked viewing, perhaps?

Seriously, though, folks Tequila is a troubled soul who could use your birthday wishes. She doesn't exactly have a lot of friends and she can barely afford any articles of clothing. See what we mean in the following photo montage:

You may have Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Broadway, the Yankees, Lincoln Center and a few other attractions, New York City residents, but consider this a warning:

Get out now. Tila Tequila is on the way.

Because she thinks Los Angeles is "played out," Tila says she's moving to The Big Apple next weekend.

"I'm looking forward to starting a new life in NYC," Tequila told TMZ. "A clean slate and a fresh start. I just want to be a normal girl with a normal life for a while. I just want to meet new friends, fall in love, get married, have babies, and call it a day!"

Then again, this is the same woman who faked a suicide and lied about a miscarriage. So rest safe, New Yorkers, she's likely headed anywhere but there.

[Photo: Pacific Coast News]

Look out Natalie Kenly and Rachel Oberlin. A certain, promiscuous, trainwreck of a bisexual wants in on your man.

In an interview with Hollywood Life, Tila Tequila said she's been watching the Charlie Sheen meltdown unfold over the past couple weeks and has a suggestion: dump the zeroes, Chuck, and get with this shameless hero!

“I could definitely do a better job than [Bree Olson and Natalie Kenly] can,” Tequila says. “He won’t need anyone else around. There’d only be one goddess. I could show Chucky a good time - but also help him out.”

During her time in the spotlight - which included the death of Casey Johnson and fake suicide attempts - Tila says she eventually learned that folks were laughing AT her, not with her.

"He’s a trending topic, [but] it really is for all the wrong reasons," Tila concludes. "I wish I would have known this while I was going through my public meltdown. Things would have been different. I wish Charlie knew that this publicity he’s feeding off of is all wrong."

That may be true, but when you're living on tiger blood, it all feels so right.

Remind me to delete this video after we're done...

So says Tila Tequila to the camerawoman in the following X-rated preview for her forthcoming sex tape, Tila Tequila Uncorked. Wouldn't you know it, though: someone forgot to remind her!

As a result, Vivid Entertainment will release what it hypes as the "first-ever all-girl celebrity 3-way" on February 14. It features Tila and two random women, one of whom makes the exciting announcement below: Tequila's on the menu all night! Cover your wife's eyes/ears and watch now:

In a new Tila Tequila sex tape, this celebrity blogger lies back and really takes it from a pair of random women.

Conversely, Vivid Entertainment is NOT taking any illegal maneuvering from its competition, issuing a letter to Porn Hub that demands it remove a five-minute clip of the video from its website.

TMZ has obtained the document, which states that Vivid owns the rights to the latest desperate plea for attention from this troubled Z-lister. The company plans on releasing the tape on February 14 and tells Porn Hub that any streaming of it constitutes copyright infringement.

"There is enormous interest in this sexy and controversial celebrity, so when we were offered footage of her with two of her girlfriends, we acted immediately," said Steven Hirsch, founder/co-chairman of Vivid.  "Their sex is extraordinarily graphic and hot. We know that our fans will enjoy it because Tila's sexual appetite is like her life style - she holds nothing back."

Hirsch says the footage was shot within the last two years.

Tila Tequila has overcome a lot in the past year, such as imaginary miscarriages and accusations of murder.

But the blogger has come out of it a better person, one who totally shies away from the spotlight now. Okay. That's not true. She's just stopping drinking for now.

"Last year, I was going through a really tough time," Tila told Radar Online. "I have my doctor and my therapist and I went constantly I got sober."

From Charlie Sheen to Tila Tequila, CBS continues to set a good example for all viewers.

How much has Tequila - who will actually guest star on this week's episode of $#*! My Dad Says, above - changed? She says:

"I want to cover up more and I don't want to show too much cleavage. I feel like an adult now. I feel like a woman. The girl last year... I feel like that girl is so far away. I feel like she's dead."

In news that should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with their dating history, Dave Navarro is giving it to Tila Tequila.

Taking advantage of a new opportunity to make headlines, Tequila is blabbing to people people that the two are "in love," as a source tells E! News they've been dating for "about six months."

"They're both serious, but she is way, way into him and stays at his place all the time," says the insider.

Hey, as long as she isn't faking pregnancies and miscarriages, it's progress.

Dave Navarro flashes the number of condoms he uses per penetration of Tila Tequila.

In October, photographer Garry Sun claimed that Tila Tequila kidnapped his girlfriend.

Nothing really came of that allegation, however, except for a restraining order against the man who admits he once dated the pathetic celebrity blogger.

Now, Sun has upped his accusatory ante: in an interview with Perez Hilton, he makes it clear that he thinks Tila played a major role in the January death of Casey Johnson.

Simply put, Sun says: "Part of the reason why Tila is trying so hard to to have me silenced, jailed, or killed, is because we now know she was responsible for Casey Johnson's death."

Tila Tequila has turned the tables on Garry Sun.

Late last week, a judge granted a restraining order for this sad sack of a celebrity blogger against the photographer who accused her of kidnapping his girlfriend, Shyla Jennings.

The legal documents state that Sun must remain 10 yards away from Tequila at all times, which is a hilariously tiny figure. He could totally still toss rocks or something at Tila from that distance.

Following the issuing of this order of protection, Tila told TMZ she's set to file a lawsuit against Sun for "making such crazy allegations about me." But there's another twist that casts doubt on the validity of this story:

Jennings says she no clue who Garry Sun is. No way he and Tequila are working together to desperately extend the latter's 15 minutes of fame, right? That just doesn't sound like something Tila would do at all.