Ah, the life of a porn star. If you're Kendra Jade, you're stuck with a tiny K-Fed problem.
If you're Mary Carey, you've got a mostly washed up singer on your worn out behind. Indeed, Mariah Carey is trying to block the porn star from trademarking her similar-sounding stage name, saying that fans could get the two performers confused.
We hear Suri Cruise and Margaret Cho often have the same problem.
But the adult film actress, whose real name is Mary Cook, said on Friday that she would not be intimidated by the international superstar and will press forward with her trademark application.
"I'm ready to battle Mariah over this because I've been Mary Carey for a long time," Mary Carey said. "It's kind of funny because I'm a porn star and I've been being myself for a long time. I think she's being silly."
For someone who's been on her back more than Lindsay Lohan, the woman does make a point.
The star of such films as Double Air Bags 11 and Boobsville Sorority Girls, she started using the stage name Mary Carey in 2002 and once ran for California governor against Arnold Schwarzenegger, filed the trademark papers earlier this year.
In October, a lawyer for Mariah Carey sent Mary Carey's representatives a letter threatening legal action if she did not withdraw the application.
"Mary Carey and Marian Carey share the identical surname and have first names that are very similar," attorney Robert Becker wrote. And in part because the porn star was seeking the trademark for audio and video recordings, he said, "Confusion between your client and her Mary Carey trademark and our client and its Mariah Carey trademark is therefore likely."
Becker also demanded that Mary Carey use her name only for "adult entertainment" and that she not sing or perform music.
It's enough to make your head, or other body parts, spin. We're just excited for when Brooke Hogan sues Ashlee Simpson for infringing on her lack of talent.