Gary Shirley stars on the MTV show Teen Mom. He is the ex-fiance of Amber Portwood, and the father of her daughter Leah, who is 2. He is...

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Some celebrity couples are made in heaven, making their fans believe in romance, passion and everlasting love even at the highest levels of fame and fortune.

Just not these ones. Like at all.

In celebration of Valentine's Day, many romantic duos will celebrate with flowers, gifts, meals, dates and public displays of affection. Nauseating, but cute.

These couples, on the other hand, are best known for fighting - in the media, in person and/or on TV - and breaking up a lot. Sometimes with police involved.

Hey, when you're a celebrity gossip site, you can't function without the dysfunctional, so at least they bring the entertainment value and then some, right?

Here are 14 truly toxic twosomes that never should've been a thing:

Rihanna and Chris Brown
Rihanna and Chris Brown dated for two decent chunks of time, the first of which ending after he beat her senseless. Never a good sign. Nor was taking him back after that, but she's moved on with Drake ... thank goodness. Good luck, Karrueche!

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Teen Mom star Amber Portwood is out of jail and sober now, but life is still rocky for the ex-convict, despite her best efforts to get things back to normal.

Portwood was hoping to regain joint custody of her daughter Leah, 4, but her ex, Gary Shirley has no plans of granting her joint custody anytime soon.

Shirley was granted full custody of Leah in 2011, when Amber Portwood was in the throes of drug addiction and battling anger management problems.

Portwood was sentenced to five years behind bars after choosing prison over drug court, but was released in November of 2013, after 17 months.

As a condition of her release, Portwood is on parole and will remain subject to random drug testing in order to monitor and maintain her recovery.

Shirley is not 100 percent confident she can do it, though.

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Looks like Amber Portwood, Jenelle Evans and Farrah Abraham aren’t the only Teen Mom alumni who know how to stir up controversy via Twitter.

Portwood‘s baby daddy, Gary Shirley, let loose on the social media site with a series of angry tweets about his ex - Kristina, not Amber, fortunately.

Gary Shirley, Amber Portwood

“Give a girl a promise ring after 9 months of dating, find out she’s in a relationship w someone else after she said she broke up with them f--k!” he wrote.

“Lol the sad thing is I believed everything she said haha d--n! Told her she should act!”

Shirley revealed that his daughter with Amber Portwood, Leah, “really liked her that’s what tears me apart! [sic] I’m single and hopefully I find a girl in the future."

"Not right now, but I’ll give a year …”

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Amber Portwood and baby daddy Gary Shirley reunited this week following her release from prison, but they are not getting back together in a romantic sense. At all.

The former couple made it clear outside a Panera Bread restaurant in Indiana yesterday that despite hanging out, they are not giving the whole romance thing a go.

This is probably for the best.

Teen Mom fans don't need to be reminded that Amber Portwood was arrested for battering Gary Shirley in 2010, as MTV cameras were a-rollin' (above).

It did not go over well.

Portwood went on to have major problems with substance abuse, losing custody of their daughter Leah and ultimately getting sent away for five years.

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Teen Mom star Gary Shirley is being sued for unpaid rent at his Indiana crib and is on the verge of being evicted as a result, according to a new report.

Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley in Therapy

Gary is being sued for eviction by Real Property Management, which claims he stiffed them on rent on his 1,500-square-foot home, to the tune of $1,360.

RPM is not only looking to collect the money he owes, but wants Amber Portwood's Aeropostale-wearing baby daddy out of the property ASAP.

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Teen Mom Amber Portwood’s daughter has no idea her mother is serving time in an Indiana jail, because baby daddy Gary Shirley won't tell her, he confesses.

Gary Shirley and Amber Portwood Picture

Portwood has been at Rockville Correctional Facility after she chose to give up a court-ordered drug rehabilitation program and was given a five-year sentence.

“I haven’t been able to say that ‘Mommy’s in jail,’” Shirley said.  “When I tried to tell her, ‘Mommy’s in trouble,’ she got upset. So, I’ve said, ‘Mommy’s at work,’ or 'on vacation.’”

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Teen Mom's return was anything but joyous for the girls involved, or even the voyeuristic viewers who typically take delight in watching them.

Anyone who claims the show promotes or glamorizes teen pregnancy and young motherhood? Watch and re-watch this depressing episode.

The trials and tribulations of Amber Portwood (whose life has played out in celebrity gossip circles) have been well documented, of course.

Maci Bookout, Farrah Abraham and Catelynn Lowell didn't exactly balance her out with positivity, though. The Season 4 opener was brutal.

Why? Find out in THG's official +/- recap!

Amber Portwood in Rehab

Let's start with Amber, who is sentenced court-ordered rehab for substance abuse / anger management / mental health and two years' probation.

Baby daddy Gary Shirley is, understandably, a bit thrown off when she starts POUNDING wine moments after arriving at his place. Minus 10.

"This is the first time I've had a drink because I just turned 21," she says. Minus 21, as that's obviously not true, and isn't a good reason anyway.

Amber needs the wine "to get the fact that I'm leaving for rehab off my mind." Somehow this doesn't bode well for rehab ... as we know. Minus 8.

"People wonder why I hit you in your f--king face. You're just a rude mean person and I'm the bitch for hitting you." - Amber to Gary. Plus 14.

Gary Shirley's 911 call plays: "She's wanting to hang herself and she said call the police so they can find my body in the garage." Minus 15.

Things ends on a hopeful note at least, with Amber and Leah's loving phone call and Gary accepting an invite to visit her in rehab. Plus 16.

Of course, we all know where Amber Portwood lives right now, so ... Minus 100.

Plus 5 for Gary's fashion choices, however. Couture at its finest.

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Tomorrow night, three oh-so lucky ladies will have the chance to compete for the heart of Teen Mom's large and in charge baby daddy, Gary Shirley.

The former fiance of Amber Portwood and father of adorable Leah will be guest starring on The Matty P Radio Hour Show at 8 p.m. Thursday night.

If you can bring yourself to DVR Vampire Diaries, this awaits:

Gary Shirley of Teen Mom

The show is hosting a dating competition to win the love of “America’s #1 Baby Daddy.” As long as you’re over 18, this man could be all yours. Swoon.

Email MattyPRadioHappyHour (at) yahoo (dot) com with the subject “Gary Date” to enter. All you need is a pic of yourself and why you deserve a date.

Wonder if Amber Portwood will sign up. In the meantime, tell us:

Gary Shirley: Would you hit it?

 

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On the season finale of Teen Mom, everything came to a head. What did Farrah Abraham decide about moving? How did Maci Bookout leave things with Ryan Edwards? Does Gary Shirley have a career as a recording artist?

All questions we may not fully know the answers to until the reunion special and perhaps beyond, but still. Absolutely edge-of-your-seat, gripping TV.

Let's break down the third season finale of Teen Mom, THG style!

Farrah Abraham on the After Show

Farrah celebrated Sophia's second birthday by putting her cooking skills to work on a cake. We don't mean to sound harsh, but ... maybe it's time for a second career path? Or a different one altogether? Thing looked rank. Minus 6.

At least she tried, though. For once. Plus 3.

The motherhood thing? Not her style! Farrah is going to "grow into my own person" and "become whole again" by ditching her daughter in Iowa and going to school in Florida. Sophia will feel so loved watching this in a few years. Minus 25.

She decided to poignantly drive around and look at places that reminded her of Derek ... the guy she broke up with and accused of stalking her, and whose parents want to take Sophia away from her. Totally realistic portrayal. Minus 11.

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Stop us if you've heard this before, but Teen Mom's Gary Shirley and Amber Portwood are over. Done. Broken up. Splitsville. Not getting back together.

While we believe that almost as much as when Jersey Shore's Sammi Giancola (we refuse to call her Sweetheart) says "I AM DONE" to Ronnie, Gary says he's positive that he's over his baby mama Amber for good this time.

The reality star bombed out a series of Tweets to that effect:

Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley Photo
  • I’m completely through w amber No more back n fourth sh*t. I got my precious baby u got your precious anderson men hope your sins r worth it
  • Hard to turn u away today, heading u cry was hard but your actions were terrible and this time there was no reason for what u did. No love.
  • Moving on I’m bout to kick it with honors with my last night til I get Leah back from grandmas. Thank u mom for everything.

Read into that what you will. It seems like he's implying that Amber Portwood is sleeping around with the men of Anderson, Indiana. Just a theory.

Later, he Tweeted, "I got a date tonight. With a girl in Indy… Where to take her? Just dinner lol a date plus I’ve been over this crap way to long."

So ... there you go. Gary Shirley has no love for Amber, tons of love for Leah and went out with some new girl. Who hopefully loves Aeropostale.