Samuel L. Jackson
Gossip

What's a Hollywood gossip site to do on a slow news day?

Shots of hard liquor. And movie reviews, of course.

So was the thinking over at TMZ, where the staff laid into 50 Cent/Curtis Jackson, along with the rest of the cast of Home of the Brave.

It sounds as though Fiddy may have more to worry about than Oprah Winfrey, after he was skewered for starring in an "abominably acted and amateurishly written Iraqi war drama ... The rapper's portrayal of a disturbed vet is quite possibly the only thing more painful than being shot nine times.

Meanwhile, it's suggested that co-stars Samuel L. Jackson and Jessica Biel should be shopping for new agents.

Left out of any critiques, however, was another actor in the film: Chad Michael Murray. Perhaps reviewers were too focused on how young his fiancee, Kenzie Dalto, is (18!) to take note of his performance.

It's officially the number-one movie on the planet. Yes, Snakes on a Plane bit film fans hard this weekend.

We don't know if the final gross will be enough to earn the cheesy, action romp a sequel, but we do know this: Samuel L. Jackson may talk a tough game, but he obviously has a soft spot in his heart for these motherf#%&@n snakes ...

After endless parodies, blogs, videos, books, news reports and T-shirts, Snakes on a Plane finally opens on Friday with fans not knowing quite what to expect other than a story about... reptiles on a passenger jet.

After an amazing run of publicity, the world is dying to figure out what story line the $30 million film will bring to complement its intriguing title -- a title producers once seriously thought of changing because it gave the plot away.

Smart moviegoers usually avoid a film released without advance screenings because it can indicate a studio knows the movie is bad. But Snakes is unusual. People who have never seen it already call themselves "fans" and many hope it will be awful.

For a year, bloggers and web-savvy moviegoers have fed an undercurrent of excitement for the action flick about an FBI agent protecting a witness whom the Mafia tries to kill via snake bite on a long flight, turning the movie into a pop-culture phenomenon.

"I really think we're on unprecedented territory," said David Waldon, author of Snakes on a Plane: The Guide to the Internet Sensation, which was published in July. "You see movies that are hyped like this or even bigger, but almost all of them are based on things that already have a bond with the public, like the Star Wars trilogy."

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Don't get Samuel L. Jackson wrong (seriously, he'll kill you). The actor is glad people still bring up memorable roles such as his hit man turn in Pulp Fiction.

Having already achieved cult status for that role, however, Jackson is excited to be recogized for something different finally, something a bit more reptile-like.

"If people can stop yelling do I know what a quarter-pounder with cheese in France is called and start yelling get these motherf***ing snakes off the motherf***ing plane, I'll be fine, I'll be great," the baddest man on the planet said.

The premise Snakes on a Plane is simple. Jackson's character is an FBI agent transporting a convict. But soon he faces a problem. There are snakes. On the plane. Though the film doesn't open until August 18, Jackson is already contemplating a sequel.

"There aren't that many vehicles that you can put people on that you can't get off of. Maybe they could do 'Rats on a Plane.' And the tagline for this one is: 'Where's a Snake When You Need One?'"

What do you mean, Samuel L.? Kevin Federline is always available.

Eventually, movie goers will stop throwing money at Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. How come? Because a) they'll realize it's abysmal and b) they'll be overcome by snakes ... on a plane!

Below, star Samuel L. Jackson promotes the upcoming movie by - what else? - placing a snake ... on his neck!