Golden Globes: Grade Tina and Amy's Monologue!

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They made us never want to attend any of Jonah Hill's pool parties.

They referred to Matt Damon as a "garbage person."

And they hilariously slammed George Clooney's love life.

Yes, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler totally owned the Golden Globe Awards for the second consecutive year. Relive their top monologue zingers below:

Amy Poehler: “Matt Damon is here for Behind the Candelabra. Matt, on any other night in another room, you would be a big deal. But tonight, and don’t take this the wrong way, you’re basically a garbage person.”

Tina Fey: “Bradley Cooper is here, star of American Hustle. Interesting trivia: The original title of that movie was Explosion at the Wig Factory.”

Tina Fey: “Matthew McConaughey is here. For his role in Dallas Buyers Club, he lost 45 pounds, or what actresses call ‘being in a movie.’”

Amy Poehler: “The Wolf of Wall Street is a big nominee tonight. I really love the film, but some of it was too graphic. I mean, if I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I’d go to one of Jonah Hill’s pool parties.”

Amy Poehler: “Masters of Sex is the degree I got from Boston College.”

And the best of all:

Tina Fey: “Gravity is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.”

Grade the monolgue now:

 

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OHHH . PUKE MY GUTS !!! IT'S THE TWO STOOGES OF NAUSEA AND GRINDING UNFUNNINESS ... NO WONDER THAT OLD BORE SHOW IS REPLACING THEM WITH FARM NIGGERS ... SEND THEM TO IRAN.... THAT'LL PUT 'EM TOO SLEEP LONG ENOUGH FOR SPECIAL OPS TO SNEAK AND AND STEAL ALL THEIR NUCLEAR SIT STUFF ... YA KNOW ..

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I loved the ladies!! One of the best moments was when Amy Poehler won! It was fun to watch and she got to make out with Bono! That was better than the Golden Globe! Lol!

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I could be part of it if..................
but I am................sort of.