Pain and Gain Review: A Roided-Out Crime Movie

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Pain and Gain is like if a Coen Brothers movie and a Scorsese movie had a baby and that baby disappointed its parents and went into porn.

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    Pain & Gain is what it looks like when Michael Bay decides he wants to make a little movie, as opposed to another action epic. The director known for making bombastic action blockbusters has taken a step back to make a smaller film based on a true story, but it does not mean he put his signature style in check. Pain & Gain is very glossy film, gorgeous at times, and certainly not subtle. It is also an incredibly dark comedy, with a story so ridiculous that it has to be true, and it is. Based on a true crime story, this film does its best to depict what happens when seemingly good-natured crooks get in way over their heads and resort to drastic measures to achieve their American dream. While Bay's style can be grating for some, the mix of a strong cast and a messy, but compelling story makes this a film with a lot more going on than the standard Bay blockbuster. You want to be the same as they? - make the dream a reality!





    J Dweeber: Since apparently you are a little S-L-O-W, I'll try not to use words too big for you to follow,Okay? You say-it,but it just Doesn't seem to SINK IN: "IT IS A 'TRUE' STORY...Wait for it...Wait for it..." If you're wondering what I'm talking about(which is even MORE proof that you're mentally deficient) It means that Mr. Bay has to STAY WITHIN THE LINES,YOU DOOF'!!! So OF COURSE there's NOT going to be any CHARACTER GROWTH,or,PLOT GROWTH,or Anything ELSE along these lines Because---Mr. BAY CANNOT MAKE IT UP AS HE GOES ALONG!! THAT,my slow-witted,reviewer,WOULD NEGATE The STORY FROM BEING---Say it with me now---T-R-U-E!! Mr. Bay did a Solid Film from what he had to Work With! AND,on another note for you,'Dweeby'---NO-ONE ELSE Could Have Given a BETTER Performance for the 3 Real Characters,than Wahlberg,Johnson,and Mackie!
    In the future,Justin,it would be helpful to ALL concerned,if you would pay more attention to what you're watching,so that you can more accurately speak on it in your 'so-called' reviews. Because if you can't do any better than this---you need to be fired, and let them bring-in someone More QUALIFIED to do film reviews. For at the moment---YOU are Sorely Lacking,sir...
    I have only written ONE Non-Fiction novel,simply because you HAVE to stay with the TRUTH. Otherwise,it's NO LONGER a 'TRUE' Story. To me(and this is just my opinion)Non-Fiction is one of the MOST RESTRICTIVE of the genre's! And, why I will stay with Fiction. Fiction allows room for creativity,and a vast array of possibilities. THERE You can have as much 'Character Growth' and 'Plot Growth' as you want and/or Create. To make something great out of a Non-Fiction Story,truly Impresses the hell out of me...My hat is off to you Mister's Bay,Johnson,Wahlberg,and Mackie. I look forward to seeing more of your works in the future...Later all; Hollywood---Out...


    ......they haven't met me yet.

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