The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Guilty Until Proven Guilty?

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Thank goodness The Real Housewives of Atlanta were all "Prayed Up" when the rule was that you're guilty until proven guilty. What?!? 

Let's recap the failings of both friendship and speech in THG's +/- review!

Porsha's Party Dress

Porsha's planning hubby Kordell's birthday bash and she's showing off dresses to her family. This has to be the first time I've ever heard a mother tell her daughter that she needs to show more cleavage. Minus 10.

Momma says she needs to wear something so that her husband gets to see more of his wife at the party. Doesn't he get to see the whole package in private?

Porsha tries to do some party planning while handling 18 month old niece Jayden and she can't understand why the child won't stop crying.  Children love Porsha.

Minus 13. Does it ever occur to her the child could be hungry/tired/just wants to get down? Porsha looks completely flustered. This is the woman who wants twins!

Across town Phaedra visits Kandi and she makes them some sweat tea.  I don't mean to be picky but this is the South. Shouldn't there be actual tea bags involved? Minus 8.

Kandi brings up Kenya's crazy antics from the charity event and Phaedra tries to play it off like it's no big deal.  Kandi's not buying it.  Plus 11.

The conversation goes from donkey booty to stallion booty to Home Depot booty.  Just when I think it can't get any worse Phaedra's judging Kenya's discount panties.  Minus 15.  Do we really need to go there?

Speaking of Kenya, she's going for a biopsy for two lumps in her breast.  Does the doctor really have to play up the suspense of the results for the camera? This isn't a game show. Minus 20.  That's simply cruel.

Cynthia has Porsha over for a meeting about the pageant and the Bailey Boys are pretty harsh.  I know Kenya was an arrogant b*tch when she was there but does that mean everyone else has to get a lecture as though they were an impolite child?  Minus 18.

Then in a strange twist, Cynthia fires Porsha from a job she isn't being paid to do. Odd and kind of rude. Even if it's not working couldn't Cynthia have limited Porsha's role and just waited for the pageant to be over?  Letting her go seems like she's burning a bridge and treating a supposed friend badly. Minus 12.

How can you not love Porsha?  Her grammar alone is worth keeping her around.  Plus 20. This week she's "perturred." Last week she described her vocal talent as being a "congloberation" of pop styles.

English can be a difficult language, even when it's your only one.

And if Porsha thinks that everyone is "guilty until proven guilty" well then Atlanta is a tougher town than I thought.

But Porsha's dress is gorgeous and the casino party is a success.  Kordell seems to enjoy it. Plus 10.

To Kordell, 40 is the new 20…for men.  Thanks Kordell.  Minus 8.

Cynthia and Peter arrive and Cynthia says they accepted the invitation because it's important to be the bigger person.

Um... Cynthia fired Porsha and Porsha still invited her to the party so doesn't that make Porsha the bigger person here?

Then Walter shows up, sans Kenya and the boys just have to ask what's up. Walter says it was pretty much over after Anguilia prompting Peter to mention that "at the airport  you were kind of walking extra fast."  Plus 12.

I don't think Walter could have gotten away fast enough.  

In other Atlanta news, Kandi's looking to add a gospel track to her next album and her producers laugh. Minus 15. Good for her for holding her ground.  

And although I agree with the sentiment, telling Kandi, "you're singing the hell out of it" seems rather inappropriate when talking about a gospel song. Minus 7.

Miss NeNe was a little too busy heading out for tacos in the Hollywood Hills to be bothered with any of it.

EPISODE TOTAL: -73! SEASON TOTAL: -198!

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Nothing to say about Kordell lording it over his young wife? Porsha's comment about seeing a therapist during her first year of marriage to help her adjust to her new life makes more and more sense as the season continues. What goes on when the cameras aren't watching?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks