The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Make Ups & Break Ups

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The Real Housewives of Miami make a "Healing Hole" in their season finale. Who's making up? Who's breaking up? And who's making babies?

We break it all down in THG's +/- recap!

Housewives Healing Ritual

Karent made it home to see her ailing father but the rest of the ladies are stuck in Bimini Bay.

Plus 15. I could think of far worse places to be stuck in, even with the rain.

With no sun shining and time to kill, Marysol suggests a healing ritual recommended by her mother.  Plus 10. What do they have to lose?

Well the water might be a little cold but the flowers are pretty and that crystal blue water is just stunning. Marysol asks the ladies to make sure their minds are blank.  Plus 12 because with this crowd that shouldn't be hard.

Adrienne asks to heal old wounds and start fresh with lots of love. Lisa wants to start a family. Marysol needs to remove the obstacles and move on. Ana wants the strength to let go. Joanna realizes she loves Romain and wants all the negativity gone from their lives.

And Lea…well Hell. Her life is damn good the way it is so she just wishes the rest of the ladies well.  Plus 20.

But honestly, the entire healing hole ritual was just a snore fest.  Minus 25. If it weren't for that gorgeous ocean it wouldn't have been worth filming.

The Housewives finally make it back to Miami and Adriana and her son perform a piano duet.  Plus 11. It was quite lovely.

Frederic and she announce the news that they plan to get married next Spring…and live on the boat.  I'm holding off on awarding points because that silly boat might blow this thing before it ever sails.

Joanna arrives home to find Romain down on one knee proposing…again.  I guess since the first one didn't take he thought he'd try it again with a diamond necklace this time.  Plus 15 because it was pretty darn romantic. Joanna even said yes to setting a date this time.

But with all of this wedding talk there are plenty of break ups too. 

Ana finally signs the divorce papers after two years.  She thinks Robert's making light of it all to make her feel better but personally I just think he's an ass. Minus 13.

Marysol's finally willing to officially call it quits with her ex but since we haven't seen him all season do we really care? Minus 11.

Then she heads out to lunch with momma Elsa and they're both wearing leopard prints which prompts Marysol to share that she can't take off her jacket because she's not wearing a bra.  Minus 10. I didn't need to know that.

And what is up with the restaurant they're at? It's connected to a gas station and the emergency cut off switch is even on their door.  Weird.

Lea visits with Lisa and gives her some good advice. Perhaps her whole world shouldn't revolve around Lenny. Maybe she should find her own passion and become a little more independent. Plus 16.

But if Lisa can't have a baby, apparently she'll put all of her motherly instinct towards Daysy.  Ugh. Minus 18.  Why would anyone want to stand around and watch Daysy's tummy get liposuctioned. That was just gross. Lisa really does need a life.

And back at home Karent was taking care of Dad and still defending Rodolfo to Mom.  But thankfully she may have come to her senses.

As the season closes, Marysol throws a final blowout party and Elaine Lancaster shows up to perform…but honestly, does anyone really care? Maybe that's just the way you bury the hatchet in Miami. With a drag show.

At the close of the episode we learn several things…

  • Lisa's still not pregnant.
  • Lea's writing a tell all book.
  • Elsa predicts Marysol will marry again…and again.
  • Adriana is still planning her wedding.
  • Joanna is not. She and Romain have gone on yet another break.
  • Ana is still fool enough to be doing Robert's laundry.
  • And Karent finally broke things off with Rodolfo.

Are Joanna and Romain over for good?  Is Ana separating Robert's colors from his whites? Will Alexia screech I told you so to Karent?  For that and more fussing and fighting check back next week for the big reunion show.

EPISODE TOTAL: +22! SEASON TOTAL: -280!

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This was the funniest recap, thank you! If I was making a wish in Bimini Bay I would wish everyone could have a fabulous life like Lea Black and give away my wishes because my husband is King Midas and wishes are for those less fortunate. I really love watching this show, but my co-workers at DISH can’t understand why I like this show so much but they haven’t watched it yet, maybe they’ll tune in next season. I missed the finale when it aired and I wasn’t sure I’d make it home before the re-runs aired so I set my DVR to record it. I’m bad with setting weekly timers on my DISH Hopper so instead I set it to record the season. It is nice not having to worry about when to record my shows, plus there is over 400 hours of HD DVR space to record my other favorite shows that air the same night so I don’t worry about using up much space. I can’t wait to get home and check this episode out!

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