The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: She Beat Me to the Tweet!

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The Real Housewives of Miami gossip, back stab, and cry "She Beat me to the Tweet!"  We break down all of the "nice nasties" in our THG +/- recap.

I have one thought when I watch this show. Miami is gorgeous. Unfortunately, I can't say the same about the women, at least not after you spend some time with them.

Adriana's Lament

After last week's debacle at Mynt, Romain and Joanna need to talk.  He's fed up, with reason.  When Joanna plays it off like it was only because she was drunk, Romain shoots back "Maybe you're drunk every day."  Minus 12.  That's a big problem.

He asked her not to drink so much and cause any drama on his special night. So much for that.  He needs more than an apology.  He needs to know she'll change.

Minus 10. Don't hold your breath, Pal.

Then in another twist, Joanna says she got a call at 4am from a staff member at Mynt. They said Romain was their making out with a dancer.

So if Joanna thought this was real, why not get out of bed and head down to the club?  Was she too tired, or too hungover to care? Of course the one thing she must do is tell her sister.  Minus 8.

I know she has to tell someone but her sister already hates Romain. No good can come of this.

Minus 11.  Marta has to spread the word to the other ladies.  There's a surprise.  She says if it's true she'll cut his balls off.  That might carry more weight if she weren't leeching off of him and her sister.  It's past time for Marta to move out and get her own place.

Across town Adriana is being photographed by a famous photographer for an art show.  Plus 10.  Sounds like fun.  The twist is that he wants shots of her topless.

At first Adriana is completely against it.  Then she waffles.  Minus 7. One minute she's incredibly uncomfortable and the next she's taking her shirt off.  That didn't take much encouragement.

In the end, plus 14.  She's a beautiful woman and the photos looked great…at least what we could see in the fuzzy televised versions.

And a plus 11 to Frederic who in one of the funnier moves of the night whipped out his iPhone to make sure he got some shots for his private collection.

The photos are great but the art show is weird.  Not necessarily the art itself but the guests.

Minus 15 to Lea.  She's such a b*tch!  Who views a friend's portrait and asks how much airbrushing they did?  Or how about when she sees that someone bought the photo and accuses Adriana of being the buyer.  

Even if she was kidding it was pretty lame but apparently Adriana doesn't see it that way.  She give Lea a pass on all of it but happily bashes Karent for much lesser offenses.  Minus 9 because Adriana's downright cruel about it as she mimic Karent in front of their friends.

And I'd happily hand out extra points if someone could stop her from screeching "She Beat me to the Tweet!"  Really.  She tweeted before you could.  Oh, the horror.

Maybe she learned the art of back biting from good friend Lea who drags James, aka Elaine to the event with the intention of bashing Marysol some more in public.  Plus 12 to Ana for trying to stand up for her friend.

Karent's taking it from all sides this week.  She's got Lea and Adriana tearing her down and her mother telling her she hates Rodolfo.  Unfortunately I've got to side with Mom on this one.  If Karent's looking to get married, I don't believe the problems is that the timing isn't right.  I think the guy isn't right.  

Lisa and Lenny have real problems.  They've been trying to have a baby for three years to no avail.  Add on three miscarriages and they're feeling the strain.  

Plus 15 to Lisa who seems to be one of the few people bothered by all of the gossip and back stabbing going on by these women. Everyone else just enjoys the drama.

The ladies all show up for Gay Christmas…or Winterfest and Lea's still making snarky comments about Karent.  Minus 10.  That seems to be her gift. Well, that and marrying rich.

Joanna dancing is the main attraction but they don't really show it.  Just odd cuts of her in different poses.  Minus 8. Was she that bad?

And I wouldn't bash Ana for having a stylist…what Housewife doesn't need one…but what is she paying her for?  That purple dress looked like it came off the rack at Target.  Minus 7.

Nothing against Target but these women pride themselves on their designer collections and that was one boring, frumpy looking outfit.  

There was no sobbing this week, or drunken binges but we did get lots of back stabbing and some nudity so in the end it all evens out.  'Til next week.

EPISODE TOTAL: -35! SEASON TOTAL: -132!

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