The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Dinasty of Denial

by at . Comments

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey the "Dinasty of Denial" only grows once everyone returns to Jersey.  We recap the cutest and scariest ways they all try to move forward in our THG +/- review.

It's back to Jersey and back to school for the Gorga and Guidice clans.  As Teresa has to yell and push to get everyone out of bed, Joe Gorga's making delicious looking pancakes for his brood. 

But despite the cute family scene the Gorga's still miss the bus for the first day of first grade.  Still, I've got to give them a Plus 8 for rolling with the punches.  Joe and Melissa both laughed it off, jumped in the car and drove off.  At least they got some fun family photos.

A Gorga Breakfast

Back at the Guidice home, Joe's comparing cousin Kathy to a frog and making fun of Caroline's hair.  Teresa gushes about how her husband is "really, really, smart."  Wow.  That's just scary.  Minus 10.

Over at Kathy's, the whole family is headed down to the University of Maryland so Victoria can check out the campus.  Plus 12 to Richie.  I think he's right. It would be good for Victoria not to be able to run home and have mommy do her laundry.

But apparently the fantasy of college didn't include small shared spaces and cinder block walls.  I guess no one here has seen the inside of a dorm room before. 

Caroline and her brood head off to mid-town Manhattan where they perform their own SiriusXM radio show.  Minus 20.  It's a complete disaster. 

Hardly anyone calls in and the entire family is floundering.  It's not only embarrassing, it's painful.

Over in Jersey, Teresa has her Fabellini launch party.  As she walks her own red carpet her husband yells out, "Let me get a Fabellini bottle before I Fab your ass, b*tch."  Joe Guidice.  The epitome of class.  Minus 15.

Teresa decided to keep the party exclusive and only invite her quality friends.  Jacqueline got slighted because, as Teresa says, she "hurted" her.  I have to give at least a plus 5 to another classic Teresaism. 

But Dina rates an invite and she looks pretty ditzy walking in on her too high heels and cracking her gum.  Minus 10

I'm not even sure Dina knows what Teresa is talking about when she mentions her insults to Caroline's family in the cookbook.  Dina just stares back at her looking kind of clueless.  Perhaps she'd sampled a little too much Fabellini.

Little Diva

Back home, Melissa is still trying to play peacemaker and takes her daughter and the Guidice kids for little girl mani/pedis.  I'm not sure if the whole thing is too cute for words or just disturbing.  It's like mini diva training and these kids really don't need the help.

But will Melissa's good will come back to bite her.  It looks like a blast from the past is coming and we'll have to tune in next week to see which Housewife gets knocked down.


Tags: , , , ,