The Real Housewives of Miami starts off with sun and fun and palm trees and ends with "A Mynt Meltdown" and one hot mess of a night. We recap all the tears, fears and accusations in our THG +/- review.
The help plays a big role in the lives of the Housewives and sometimes it's hard to figure out who works for whom. Lisa's housekeeper/assistant/confidante Daysy's main job seems to be to keep Lisa company. Minus 8. How much do they pay her for that?
Of course Daysy's working towards her bonus prize. A brand new body is hers once she sheds some pounds. Yes, working for the Boob god of Miami has its perks. Plus 10
Lea can do one better. She's got Freda, her housekeeper who has two assistant housekeepers, her own guest house and even has Lea doing her hair. Plus 12. Here's to enjoy the perks of one's labor.
But wait. What labor? It seems Freda doesn't do much in the way of keeping house but the kids and the dogs love her so Lea pays for her room and board. Heck, Freda doesn't even have a bathing suit unless Lea buys it for her. Is this her housekeeper or another one of Lea's kids? Minus 15.
We barely see Rodolfo who is off somewhere filming his Latin soap opera. He tells Karent he doesn't want to hear any more about these texting rumors. Yeah, I bet he doesn't. Minus 7.
Ana's working on her puffy eyes. It looks like she's been crying after a fight with boyfriend Mark. He wants to know when her divorce will be finalized. Plus 12. I don't blame him. It's been two years and Robert's still hanging around the house reminding her that his new girlfriend is 15 years younger than her.
Minus 15. That means his girlfriend is probably closer to his daughter's age than his.
Elsa's no where to be found in this episode but Marysol and drag queen Elaine have a tiff over whether or not Marysol kicked her off the red carpet last year. Minus 13 because nothing was really resolved and everyone just left fuming.
Finally we come back around to Joanna and Romain. Romain becomes a US citizen and congrats to him. Plus 20. That's a huge accomplishment.
It's also the ten year anniversary of his club Mynt which only makes me wonder how this club remains so successful in a hot spot like Miami where a club is old news a month after it opens.
But Romain wants to celebrate his good fortune and all of the housewives are invited. Adriana flirts shamelessly with the guy who diligently tells her he only likes blondes. Specifically his blonde, Joanna. Plus 10 although he may rethink that before the night is over.
Joanna Krupa has a few too many when she spots the club DJ who once dated, cheated on, and dumped Joanna's sister Marta. Her reaction is over the top.
The odd thing is that the bad break up took place quite a while ago and Joanna knew the guy still worked at Mynt. Why make a scene now on Romain's big day? Minus 11.
Maybe she's bored with Romain and trying to sabotage their relationship. Maybe she's extremely sensitive where her sister is concerned. Or maybe she's just nuts.
Will this be the end of the road for this gorgeous Miami couple?
EPISODE TOTAL: -5! SEASON TOTAL: -97!