The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: You Want to What Me in the Where?

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Only The Real Housewives of New York City can throw a Christmas party that leaves guests asking "You Want to What Me in the Where?"

We break down the entire foul-mouthed affair in THG's +/- recap!

Before we get to the dirty Santa's helpers, let's recap Sonja's logo meetings. She meets up again with Heather and her crew but adds Ramona to the mix. 

Sonja had to know this was going to get messy. What was she thinking throwing these two together? Minus 10.  

Sonja's Logo Meeting

Minus 9 to Heather and her crew as they try to push their point of view and are not always listening.  I like the silhouette of the lady in the logo and the font could be sexier.  Adding the naked guy just seems silly.

Ramona's trying to back up Sonja's point of view but Sonja can be so wishy washy it's hard to tell what she really thinks.  One moment she likes what they're showing. The next she doesn't. Even I'm getting confused.

Of course for the next meeting Heather brings on LuAnn. Oh, I'm sure that will straighten things out.  How many Housewives does it take to agree on a photo shoot?  In the end they agree on one thing. Ramona won't be there.  Wait until she hears about that.

Then it's off to dinner where the who has slept with Harry joke has really gotten old.  Minus 8.  Although we do finally get to meet the man in question.  Eh.  I'm not seeing the appeal.  Maybe it's the bank account.

Ramona and Mario decide to share/show off their $1,400 bottle of wine at dinner where Mario confronts Jacques about his earlier wine game at Ramona's expense.  Plus 13.  Whether you're a Ramona fan or not, I applaud Mario for sticking up for his wife. 

As for LuAnn and Jacques, they still maintain they weren't trying to make fun of Ramona and it was all in fun. Is anyone buying that?

Of course the moment the subject comes up LuAnn scurries off to the restroom to hide.  Coward. Minus 7.

But later LuAnn brings the subject up again to Ramona. Is she just afraid to talk about it in front of Mario? Does she really think Ramona's going to say don't worry about it?  She should consider herself lucky Ramona's willing to drop it and doesn't take a dive off the deep end.  Plus 5.

LuAnn's conversation with Sonja is just uncomfortable.  It really sounds like she's saying she's only having a baby because Jacques wants one.  Yikes!  Minus 12.  Not to preach Sonja's gloom and doom but what if things don't work out? LuAnn's the one who will be raising this child and I'm not sure Jaques' child support will be enough to employ a full time nanny.

LuAnn Cringes

Later, Sonja can't keep her worries to herself.  How much has she had to drink?  If Jacques wasn't thinking about running before, he might be now!  But I think Ramona's right.  Sonja's unhappy and watching her this drunk is just sad.

Carole barely has any screen time this week and what little she has is so boring it's really not worth mentioning.  Minus 5.

Now on to LuAnn's Holiday party. It's a fundraiser where guests donate coats for the homeless. Certainly a good cause for the Countess. Plus 10.

LuAnn wants the music to be edgy. Well ll it's a little more than edgy.  It ran right off the cliff.  Perhaps Santa's helpers showing up with Mohawks and cigarettes hanging out of their mouths should have been a sign of things to come.

When the ladies got up to sing Jingle Bells, not even I could have imagined what came next.  The lead singer started up the band and began singing…well more like screaming, "i want to f**k you up the a**."  Over and over and over again.  Minus 15 because if that doesn't say Merry Christmas from the Countess, I don't know what does.

EPISODE TOTAL: -38! SEASON TOTAL: -243!

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