The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Row, Row, Row Your Boat

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Previously on the Real Housewives of Orange County, the ladies headed to Costa Rica to call Alexis out on her phoniness and materialism. And Vicki took some whacky pills.

This week the adventure continues and involves... paddling.

Down a river, of course. Read on for THG's +/- review!

The Real Housewives of Orange County Cast

We're still at dinner and Alexis is in tears because Tamra can't keep her voice down. Tamra's pretty much being a bitch right now. Minus 25.

Vicki says that at times they're all materialistic. Plus 10 for that tidbit of truth.

Gretchen tries to speak up for Alexis but ends up twisting the knife a little bit more. Alexis gets up to leave the table and Heather wants to hug it out first. Alexis says no hugs. She wants to be alone.

Gretchen gives her a head start and then goes after Alexis, but Alexis won't let her in the hotel room.

Here's the kicker - this intervention all happened before dinner was even served. Way to go, ladies. Now Alexis is crying herself to sleep on an empty stomach. Minus 10.

Back at the table, Gretchen bursts into tears because she hurt her friend by trying to both be honest and defend Alexis. Vicki decides to take Alexis her lobster dinner and after barging into the room, Vicki promptly begins to talk about herself. Minus 10.

Gretchen's gone from crying to cranky because Vicki was let inside Alexis' room and she wasn't. She's defended Alexis so many times and this is the thanks she gets?

The next morning, Alexis packs up to leave so she can go home and take care of her kids and Jim. After a night of contemplation, she's decided she doesn't see the phoniness in herself that the other women see. Plus 10 for believing in yourself? I guess?

Heather goes to visit her and say that she wants to get to know the sweet girl she thinks Alexis is and they all have things to work on. Heather may not think she's perfect, but I think she's pretty close. Because of her, Alexis decides to go on one more outing with the ladies before catching her plane back to Orange County. Plus 10.

In the car, Alexis thanks Vicki for visiting and completely ignores Gretchen and the fact that Gretchen went to check on her first. Minus 20.

The girls have a champagne picnic on the beach and Alexis pulls Gretchen aside to talk to her. Alexis acknowledges that Gretchen was upset at dinner and Gretchen chokes up when she talks about being turned away at Alexis' door.

Alexis says she felt like she was ganged up on, even by Gretchen. Alexis says that the reason she didn't want Gretchen in the room is because the minute she opened the door, Gretchen started talking about Gretchen. Gretchen's explanation was a good one and Alexis completely dismissed it. Alexis only wants to hear what Alexis wants to hear. Minus 10.

Alexis leaves and hopefully takes her drama with her.

Alexis Bellino Image

In an attempt to lighten the mood, or something, Tamra tries to pants Gretchen and Vicki. And then she grabs Heather's boobs. And then she flashes Gretchen her new-old boobs. Tamra's fun right now. Plus 10.

Vicki and Heather, the sticks in the mud, hang out on a towel and pretend to be embarrassed. Or at least I hope they were pretending. Lighten up, ladies!

Vicki arranges for the ladies to all plant a tree since they're in the rain forest. Tamra plants a "Stinking Toe" tree in honor of Eddie's ugly feet. Heather picks one with four leaves, one for each of her kids. Vicki chooses a rain tree because, according to the guide, it has the most soul. She also chooses one for Alexis since Alexis isn't there to plant it herself.

It's a really nice bonding moment. Then Vicki ruins the mood when she says "You know what's going to be sad is one day when one of us dies."

Alexis' tree falls apart when Vicki plants it. Heather notes the irony. Tamra picks Vicki's nose. (No, seriously. She did.)

Day three in Costa Rica and the girls are going white water rafting. Heather's freaking out. As soon as they see the water, Vicki and Heather's freak-out meters go off the charts. Tamra and Gretchen were okay with rafting until the guide said there are piranhas in the water.

Gretchen actually thought she'd get out of this without getting her shoes wet. Minus 10.

Vicki won't shut up and keeps forgetting to paddle. There's a whole lot of screaming in this boat. A lot. It's awesome. Plus 25.

After they survive the rapids, Heather heads home to take care of Terry and the kids while Vicki melts into a puddle of tears.

Vicki, Tamra, and Gretchen have a beer and Vicki's still emotional. Apparently, Donn's going to be sad without her. Because she won't be able to cook him dinner? And she's the one who wanted the divorce.

Vicki says that if Donn wanted her back, they'd be back, which prompts Tamra to ask "you'd go back?" And then Vicki says that she's happy where she is with Brooks. So again, I'm confused.

Then she breaks down about how she's been married and divorced twice and Briana eloped and that was so hurtful and Briana's her rock and blah blah blah. I think I like Vicki better when she's being crazy.



Brilliant show completely hooked


Tamara, I hope I never come across a girl like word, NESTY! Evil eyes! Constantly praying on the weak! And sucking men for money! I know you came from the T- Park and worked yourself in to some $$$ - will you ever be happy? Lucky Simon, Eddy think twice - she will drop you like a bomb when the well is dry! Simon is right not to have his kids exposed to the embarressing behaviour of his ex-wife on tv! Simon you should consider yourself lucky you lost this woman!
Heather - one word - SCARY! Hollow eyes, no soul! You might have all the money but other than that you have nothing.
Gretchen - you had a soul when you first started, what happened to you, stick with your real friend Alexis! T and H will just step you in the back! You are beautiful and real, do not become pray to the bullies, taht makes you a victim and weak.
Vicky - very nervous exposure! Constantly need attention!
Alexis - now we are talking! Wooowee! You are the only real one!


tamra needs to realise that this isnt The Tamra Show and stop being so super bitchy, cos all shes doing is making herself out to be the poisoned dwarf....


I love, love Gretchen she is my girl. Now Vicki is another story she really has to practice what she preaches, she is a wack -a-
doddle!!!Tamra need to chill and stop being so mean and enjoy her new boy toy. Then if they all got alone what would we be watching it for?


I love the show, and all the girls are really amazing, and beautiful. But in all honesty, really Tamra is a piece of work. She always seems to want to stir something up with someone. First Gretchen, and now Alexis. She's got some ghetto in her. Alexis who cares if she braggs? Get over it. Vickie looks for attention at any cost. Negative or positive....she's drama. Heather is sweet, and would like you to think that she is different form the other girls, but she's not. She is passive aggressive (hypocritical) non shilantly stirs up gossip ot trouble. She is a phony. Gretchen seems tobe the only real one, not perfect but transparent, and honest with herself, Slade, and the girls. She has really grown.


I enjoy watching the house wives but Tamra is mean, Alexis. does brag a lot, Vickie you can't. Compare your relationship to your daughter.In time she may come to like your boyfriend, but you have a son in-law, who is your family now.Heather, I like you "you are real. Slay to me needs Gretchen, she doesn't need him.


love the episode of those girls in the boat white water rafting. So funny! Heather is just a hoot, and so are the other girls when Lex is not around. It just cracks me up how much fun they were having and then to have Vicki babling something and the two girls were walking here away from the raft.


I would like to know what music was played during the Costa Rica episodes, it was "fabuloso"


Tamra is really hateful and mean and she is just using Alexis for convience because she can get all the other bitches to agree with her typical MEAN GIRL. Tamra has so much going on in her own life she needs someone to hate on an she uses Alexis , poor girl needs to toughen up.


I think Tamara is very mean spirited and thrives on hurting somebody..Heather is a troublemaker that is in love with herself..Gretchen has lowered herself to behave like low class Tamara..Alexis is insecure and the ladies are too superficial to see this..They pounce on weaker prey..Viki can also be very mean and is losing her place of authority as she crumbles under her emotional breakdown..Alexis is the only one that is not mean spirited...

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