Jersey Shore Recap: Break Me Off Summa Dat F-P-C!

by at . Comments

Fist-pump. Pushups. Chapstick.

We were wondering how Jersey Shore would follow up the most recent episode, in which a wall KO'd The Situation, and well, there you have it.

While not exactly as catchy as GTL, FPC does have a ring to it. Luckily, there were more fist-pumps than actual fists thrown this week, as well.

As always, we recapped all the top Jersey Shore quotes and moments for you. Let's break down last night's gripping installment, THG +/- style!

Gonna Fist-Pump 'Til Our F--kin' Arms Fall Off!

Mike throws a pity party for himself. Only he attends. Minus 5.

Ronnie, of all people, decided to have a one-on-one with Mike, letting him know that he was there for him and that he could open up to him. Sniff. Plus 9.

Snooki argues with Jionni, who doesn't like to hear risque stuff or about her drinking. This from a man who is willingly dating EFFING SNOOKI. Minus 17.

Mr. Therapist Ron tells her to just be herself and that she can't change for a guy. He should talk, but Plus 6 because he's still right and being hella nice.

You're not gonna believe what happened: Ron apologized to Sam (for doing nothing wrong for once), she acted like a brat and said "I just don't care anymore," and then they gave it another try. Who would have guessed?!? Minus 8.

"I think right now me and Ron are together. Granted it's just tonight. Who knows what's going to happen tomorrow, but considering he did speak differently tonight." So even Sammi doesn't know if they're together anymore. Nice. Plus 5.

Patching Things Up

"I'm done" should be Sammi's epitaph in 50-60 years. Get it?! Plus 8.

Some chick spills a drink on Deena, who Snooki tries to defend, but then ends up fighting herself. These two? High on spunk, low on I.Q. points. Wash.

Priest: "Can you cover your body please in front of church?" Snooki: "He basically called me a whore! At my church, they'd be, 'Nice outfit.' God likes my [boobs]. God made my [boobs]!" JWoww: "God didn't make mine." Plus 10.

Deena gave Pauly D a giant ass fauxhawk. Plus 7 for that visual.

The best moment of the night, and probably the season, came when Pauly D and Vinny channeled their inner "ultimate guidos" and and shared with us the infinite wisdom of F-P-C. Fist-pump. Push-ups. Chapstick. Plus 20.

Plus 5 more because of how convincing Pauly looks in that getup.

Snooki Cleavage Picture

Snooki confronted The Situation but got nowhere. "It's like talking to a wall with Mike," she says. Ouch, too soon, but good one, probably unknowingly! Plus 5.

"He comes over at 4 a.m. He must really like Deena." Sammi said this about Deena's waiter booty call Ellis, and frighteningly, appeared to be serious. Minus 7.

Deena finds a questionable mark on his neck, which he tries to pass off as being from his sister. Plus 2 for originality, but Minus 8 because that's just weird.

"You're embarrassing me. Now you're going to listen because you pissed me off, and you're being a bitch." - Jionni earns a Minus 9 for being self-absorbed.

"You have to understand, I'm not going to pretend everything is cheese and daisies." - JWoww. No idea what that means, but we expect nothing less. Plus 3.

Snooki is caught off guard when the girls stage an intervention. Girl, it won't be the last in your life, we can place a substantial wager on that. Minus 6.

EPISODE TOTAL: +19. SEASON TOTAL: +107.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Avatar

I love Jersey Shore! It's my absolute favorite show to watch! Sometimes it can be a bit boring in some parts, but I just love the show. I have been watching it since Season 1. Maryvale Swimming

Avatar

hahaha any excuse 2 put lip gloss on huh vinny? hahaha

Avatar

Hahaha oops i meant 2 say ya i no hes so fake y didnt he act like this on season 1 he def thinks he has game but he just famous. Anyone whos famous can get ass every night. and um did anyone else notice that when pauly and deena kissed pauly sed sumthin like vinny's jealous or sumthin along those lines? well hes not jealous of pauly... just sayin!

Avatar

the shows still ill but that episode bordaline annoyin i just dont get y vin gotta copy everymove pauly makes its getting rediculous dam dude get a personality haha

Avatar

pauly d looks good in that guido outfit