Charlie Sheen Roast Clip, Promo: Sheenpocalypse Now

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Yes, Charlie Sheen will be killed off Two and a Half Men when that CBS sitcom kicks off season nine on Monday. But the actor himself remains alive. Somehow.

Still, Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane has penned an obituary for the actor and he read it aloud during this weekend's taping of the Comedy Central Roast that will honor/tear apart the warlock of a star and air on the same night as the aforementioned premiere.

Check out the "tribute" below and then read through some of the best jokes from the special.

Charlie, meanwhile, has filmed a new ad for the Roast. He appears opposite his father, and a couple bikini-clad women, in the following spot.

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Charlie Sheen Quotes

Sean Penn, Mel Gibson, Colin Farrell. They didn't give me any advice. Within that there's great advice. There's just love. Just seeing what's up.

Charlie Sheen

All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master.

Charlie Sheen