The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: A Gorga Holiday Extravaganza

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Christmas got out of control in Jersey Sunday night, but was anyone really surprised? Let's run down all the festivities in THG's +/- review.

We picked up where we left off last week at the Gorgas. Melissa and Joe took pictures of the toys that were brought for the children's hospital.

They're proud but honestly, considering the crowd, that wasn't a lot of toys. Certainly not fifty grand worth. Minus 7 for making it out to be more than it was. 

Teresa and Melissa

I really wonder if the charity aspect was just a creative way to try and write off their excessive party on their taxes.

The party quickly turned into the Kim G show because no one knew how to ignore the woman. 

First off, Kim let her friend Monica get escorted from the party but remained behind. Talk about rude. She brought Monica to the party. She should have left with her. Obviously being seen in front of the cameras was more important than being a good friend. Minus 8.

Kim brought her own bodyguards to the party. Well, if you're looking to cause trouble, it's best to bring your own backup, even if you have to hire them. Plus 6 for thinking ahead.

What happened with the Manzo family. Once they heard Kim G. talking trash about Teresa they descended on the woman. Not that I didn't want to see Kim gone but it wasn't Caroline's party. 

Talk about overstepping. Minus 10 for failing to remember it's not your house.

When Chris escorted her out he seemed to have things almost under control. They're actually having a civil conversation outside when his brother comes barreling through.

What a mess. I generally like the Manzos but they proved to be bulls in a china shop tonight. The entire family needed a time out.

In other party news, Melissa earned big points tonight for trying to put family first. 

Although they already had plans with Kathy for Christmas Eve, Melissa made the effort to attend both parties. Plus 10 for standing her ground when Joe got whiny about it. It's his sister for goodness sakes, you'd think he could make a little more of an effort.

Those little girls dresses were ridiculous. There was so much poof the little ones could barely walk but Plus 5 for making me smile at the picture.

As much as Melissa tried, Teresa and her husband sure seemed determined to make things difficult.

Minus 7 as Teresa snipes that Melissa's dress was inappropriate for Christmas. 

Can someone get Teresa a mirror? I've seen longer metallic skirts on hookers outside the Lincoln Tunnel. 

Then what was up with Joe Guidice? Was he really calling Melissa raccoon face? Was that the way to treat guests in your home? Minus 15.

Again, Melissa seemed to be the level headed one of the bunch so she earned another Plus 5. And she was right. Those kids definitely looked happy to be together at Christmas.

The Manzos had their own Christmas Eve bash and it seemed to be the most normal of the bunch, albeit huge.

I must admit, the only reason I'd want to attend any of these parties would be for the food. It looked delicious. Plus 8 for making me hungry.

EPISODE TOTAL: -13. SEASON TOTAL: -54.

Well, no punches were thrown ... yet. There's always next week.

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Is it just me or did it make anyone else sick that the Gorgas had a huge 50k party to fundraise for a children's hospital in the name of "Jesus' birthday" instead of simply donating money or presents to the cause? In my humble opinion, 50k would have gone a lot further if it had been given directly to the hospital rather than being spent on a gaudy party with histrionic guests.

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Did anyone else find it strange that the housewife with the cooking books looked like she didn't cook??? Kudos to Kathy & Caroline for putting family first, FOR REAL!

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I'm watching the Christmas episodes,and I just wanted to say that I really think is neat how Milessia includes Jesus in Christmas.There is such chaos in the families, but the mention of Jesus name is refreashing. Janet

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OMG caroline you where good on that radio show u hosted fantastico

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Plz teresa just needs to stop eing drama melissa do your own thing . u and joe make a great couple.

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I think everybody has missed this, but toward the end of the second part of the Christmas extravaganza Joe Gorga kissed Alberts's hand, which is what is done when paying homage to The Don. That one little action screams louder than any words that ever could be said. If you don't believe it, go watch some of the undercover FBI Mafia tapes. Or even The Godfather I. HELLO!!! 'Ladies', if you are going to wear a strapless dress then make sure it fits so you don't have to keep pulling it up, and up, and up. And the too-short ones down, down, down. This show could easily win the Golden Turkey Award for awful 'fashion' if there was one. (Look up Golden turkey Award to see what I mean.) I'll bet the ones who do wear undies have even those trimmed with fur. I know, Melissa, that leaves you out, as you were so careful to let everybody know you prefer au naturel.

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Before folks go too far in assuming Joe Giudice was dissing Melissa with the name-calling, check out @Teresa_Giudice 's posts today on Twitter; even if she's not spilling the whole truth, she's making a heck of an effort to shed more light on the whole sitch.

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I can't believe how any of these women dress. Teresa and Melissa must have a competition for who can wear the sluttiest outfit. I can't imagine what their kids are going to wear when they're teenagers.