Teen Mom Season Premiere Recap: The Fab Four Return!

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Having children while basically still children themselves can be tough going, but Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell and Farrah Abraham are taking life one day at a time and making the best of their situations.

The (sometimes) fabulous foursome is back for a new season of Teen Mom on MTV. Let's break down last night's third season premiere, THG style:

Farrah and Sophia Picture

Farrah Abraham is working hard! She's in culinary school, waitressing and modeling to make ends meet. No plug for the most anticipated book of the year, though? Golden opportunity wasted there. Minus 3.

"Being a good mother is a full-time job too," she adds. Yes. Plus 5.

Not sure what's more ridiculous, the fact that Farrah claims she's getting plastic surgery on her chest "for her daughter's future," or the fact that she wrote "Here for Boobs" on a medical form. We'll call it Even.

Farrah wants a "C you can see." Plus 4, we begrudgingly admit, because she is a model and this may help her support her kid, but Minus 8 for MTV now glamorizing plastic surgery and glorifying teen pregnancy.

Contrary to reports, Ryan Edwards is paying child support, thankyouverymuch ... from his unemployment check. Way to step up, dog. Minus 3.

Meanwhile, he asks if Maci Bookout's boyfriend Kyle King, who appears to be a decent guy with an actual job no less, is "slow." What a douche. Minus 6.

Man, is it just us or are all the kids looking cuter than ever these days? It appears that two-year-olds can actually do stuff too, which helps. Plus 4.

Tyler Baltierra, Catelynn Lowell's baby daddy, who calls himself a "loser" because he's 18 and living at home. Hey man, Ryan's 22 and does it. Plus 5.

Tyler and Catelynn are, like, getting an apartment together. Good for them. Their relationship has issues, sure, but man, her mom is messed up. Plus 7.

Knowing about Amber Portwood's suicide attempt and subsequent trip to rehab makes it hard to take her already-absurd segments at face value. Minus 5.

Also hard to take seriously? Gary Shirley. Come on. Minus 3.

What do you think he weighs? No points, we're just curious.

Honestly, there's got to be someone else (hello, Chris) and while we know Amber's no prize herself during fits of rage, she's human. We feel for her. In a normalized environment, maybe she can turn it around. Plus 7 for hope against hope.

Plus 2 for that cutie Leah, too. Even if she looks like her dad.

In this case, the fact that these are quasi-celebrities detracts from the drama on screen. We know, at least to a degree, how this plays out already. Minus 4.

EPISODE TOTAL: +2.

What did you think of the Teen Mom season premiere? Discuss!

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This show does glamorize teen pregnancy. In the USA most teen mothers do not get the opportunity to appear on a TV reality show, make the most of the opportunites which result from that show. Farrah and Maci come from very comfortable homes and have a lot of family support. They drive nice cars and live in nice apartments and wear very nice clothes. All of them can be seen socialising regularly and take a lot of trips. Many working couples have to work very hard as well as looking after their children on very low incomes. They and their families receive large payments for appearing on that show and i find it insulting to viewers that we are told that they struggle financially. I would love cosmetic surgery but it is a luxury I dream about but in reality will never be able to have.

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MTV IS PAYING FOR HER BOOB JOB, PERIOD

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i dont know why catelynn and tyler are on this show its called teen mom not teen relationships and i find catelynn so annoying she cant let tyler breathe and as for maci dont get me started she now looks like a barbie doll big fake boobs blonde hair yeah she is thinking of her kids future while spending money on plastic surgery like farrah.

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The girls all do wonderful jobs in supporting their children. People have to remember its hard having children, but more harderr when they are teenagers them self. Keep up the good work girls!

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I'm a fan of the show. I know lots of teen moms starting from age 13. (sad I know) I'm 21 and had my daughter at 19. MTV does glorify teen pregnancy though. They say its so tough yet what they fail to mention is that these girls are getting paid lots to do this show. They get more doing one episode than most people do in 2 months of hard work. They are hardly financially struggling. They do seem like good mothers though so thats what counts. They shouldn't be raising their children on t.v though because when those kids get older and look back at this show, they'll be embarrassed. Not to mention teased at school because of their parents behavior. Entertaining though.

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She did take out a loan for her boob job and made the comment at one point that she would NOT use her savings on boobs because she was thinking about Sophia's future. I'm not saying the whole situation makes sense but at least she was thinking in that aspect!

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A boob job for her daughters future? I really don't care if people decide to get implants. Their body, their choice. And I give her a bit of respect for being honest and not just showing up one day with huge boobs and claiming she had no work done. But if she wanted to help her daughters future, take that money and put it in a high intrest savings account for her daughter for college.

Farrah Abraham Quotes

I think having a TV show that shows your personality and your intimate life, you know, showing your best friend, and then showing having sex ... to me it's kind of the same thing because both things are intimate.

[To Charlie Sheen] You sound like you have mental issues, (hints maybe you need some anger management counseling) given your disgusting lash out towards my body and my relationship with my daughter which each are both the epitome of perfection.

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