The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Packing Heat in the Catskills

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey took the show on the road and headed to the Catskills. Although I thought I was prepared for anything, I didn't expect this.

Let's recap the highlights and lowlights in this week's +/- review!

We start with the Teresa / Melissa summit talks at Jacqueline's. I don't think these two will ever stop jabbing at one another. It is a constant game of one-upsmanship and I give them a Minus 10 for holding on to such petty crap for so long.

At the same time, I'll give Melissa a Plus 5 for bringing the pictures to remind them of better times. That's a nice gesture.

The two keep saying they're willing to start over but they can't seem to really get there. Jacqueline finally tells Teresa "Quit when you're ahead." Good advice. I doubt she'll take it.

I love that Caroline's husband decides to skip the Catskills trip. Plus 8 for being a smart man.

Did you see Chris' gun safe? How many of those did he bring. My favorite line of the night goes to Jacqueline as she watches him. "I have a look of concern on my face although you can't tell with my botox." She earns a Plus 5 for being honest and funny at the same time.

But before we get to the Catskills, let's check in with the crew that isn't going.

Kathy wants to start her own dessert catering business. I'll give her a Plus 6 for a good idea. She loves to make desserts for big parties and running her own small business will keep her busy and she'll have fun.

But husband Rich quickly turns this into a Minus 10. The idea is just too small for him. He wants to invest in a restaurant and have Kathy run it. 

Can't Bear to Watch

I'm giving Kathy Plus 5 back for pointing out that we have an Italian restaurant about every ten feet here in Jersey. Do we really need another? Not to mention the restaurant business isn't easy. I think the catering idea is much more Kathy's speed.

The Gorga's daughter Antonia is in a dance show. Being that she is the only child asked to perform in an adult dance show tells me she probably got the honor because cameras follow her. But maybe I'm just a cynic.

Now back to the Catskills. It's a small house built by Joe Guidice's father. I have no idea where they fit everyone and I'm still recovering from the bedrooms we did see, but more on that in a moment.

Mostly they did a lot of shooting and rode quads. Oh, and drank a lot. Nothing like a lot of drunken fools with guns. Not the safest combination. Minus 3.

Dinner is when things get really interesting as the conversation turns to a comparison of the bj skills of Teresa and Jacqueline. In case you missed it, this discussion took place in front of many people, including Teresa's father-in-law.

I have to ask, how are Chris and Joe comparing, exactly. Oh God, nevermind. I don't want to know. Minus 5 for putting pictures in my head I didn't want there.

But wait, it gets worse. Teresa shows off the vibrating C-ring her husband wears. Seriously, do we have to see this? Picturing any of these men without clothes ... Minus 15. Can someone tell me how to burn that thought from my brain. 

Joe Flops on Teresa

I'm just thankful that scene didn't take place with Joe Gorga. And is it possible for that man to keep his hands off his wife's ass?

I'm with Caroline. Stay sober so you can escape at any time. Plus 5 for being the only one of the group with some brains but Minus at least 2 for being there at all.

And I couldn't help but laugh with Caroline when they visited the chapel. Yes, let's get drunk and shoot things but then we'll go give thanks that we didn't injure ourselves.

How about Chris asking Joe how the Guidices were handling Christmas this year. Joe's answer, "What budget do you have when Christmas comes around." Hmm. That's the answer that gets you to bankruptcy court, or worse. Minus 5 for such stupidity.

The gangs' trip to the B&B lounge gets entertaining. "There were some freaks there." Yeah, once you guys arrived, there certainly were. In the words of Caroline, "I just want to go home." And I'm thankful the episode is over. 

EPISODE TOTAL: -21. SEASON TOTAL: -43.

There will be more next week as our favorite New Jersey Housewives prepare for the holidays. Let's hope they lock the guns back in the safe.

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I'm looking for the episode that was shot in the catskills at the B&B Lounge. I was hoping you could send me the link. I use to go there years ago, and would love to see the episode there and share with friends. This is too cool. it has been 32 years since i was there. still have friends living there and want to share.
Thanks A Bunch,
Corinne

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looking for an episod that was taking at the B&B lounge in the catskills. i use to go there when it was the Lawrence bar. would love to see it. can you send me the link..
thanks so much....this is way too cool
Corinne

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Dina and her big sis! They are disaster! Dina thnk dat she is cute! No ur nt beautful! Wit dat mouth ooh pls! The big sis she is nt a gud role model! They seems 2 be a liers family and at that age? Dinas sis U nid a player! Theresa ur fake!

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The town is the town of Catskill. I'm from there. Its exit 21 on the NY Thruway.

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i would like to know what town the nj wives went shopping in the catskills. it looked like such a cute town thanks

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I luv melissa and her husband the "gorga's"...you guys have such class compared to your sister teresa. for a little brother how did you get so smart and classy? I also have to ask melissa for the youngest with ur sisters,you have so much class. I can't remember melissa husbands name so I'm going to use him as melissa's husband and say....mr gorga please run for president..or at least president of the new jersey housewives.

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My God, this show is a train wreck. I'm so happy I don't know any real people like this.

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i can't beleive it teresa actually did a good job keeping her mouth "shutty" after talking to her SIL. the sister in law, who is as interesting as watching paint dry, was brutal behind teresa's back. it's all ridiculosity.
the redhead mazone, is a bit of a debbie downer, caroline. she needs to learn to let her hair down. bit of a yawn.
it was nice to see teres's brother partying and having so much fun with his mom. the wife is DEFINATELY poisening the water. no indeed teresa is no saint either, someone wise needs to tell them BOTH to SHUT THE HELL UP and stop making the family so toxic. JUST sayin.

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i love the the real housewives of new jersey these woman is off da chane lmbo

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