Ashton Kutcher Prepares for the Apocalypse

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Now we know why Ashton Kutcher wasn't so worked up about those Brittney Jones allegations. The actor has far more pressing issues on his mind!

In the latest issue of Men's Fitness, the No Strings Attached star says the Apocalypse is almost upon us and he even knows how it will all go down:

"It will not take much for people to hit the panic button... You start taking out electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle. People don't have maps anymore. People use their iPhones or GPS systems, so if there's no electricity, nobody has maps."

Men's Fitness Cover Boy

Kutcher himself then asks and answers: What happens when all our modern conveniences fail?

"I'm going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry."

That's why he's stocking up on guns and running the canyons near his house, while also doing bikram yoga and learning Krav Maga, an Israeli combat technique.

"All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the end of day. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I care about."

And, hey, if he looks good in a bathing suit to boot, all the better!


He is a no talent chump. His 15 mins should have been up a looong time ago.


And another nut job. Or is it the reporter who thought this crap was worth reporting. Whocares what this guy thinks. That said He has a piont!


For real people get over the fact he cheated or whatever he did. He's hot and smart and I MISS HIM ON THE 70'S SHOW =[ waaa


Stfu ashton you cheating bastard with your sex parties and muscles ;D


I hope that the Apocalypse hits only him. Demi can be spared I guess simply because she is a mother but this guy has got to go.


Why is it that while reading these quotes I can hear Kelso saying them? These kind of sound ridiculous....