Confirmed, Stupefying: A Paris Hilton/Brooke Mueller Reality Show

by at . Comments

We can now replace the question marks in this headline: a Paris Hilton reality show, featuring Brooke Mueller, really is coming soon.

The Oxygen network has confirmed this astounding, ridiculous news in a statement that reads: "Paris has led a very public, jet-setting life. As she enters the next stage of her life, the provocative heiress and her life beyond what we see in the tabloids will become the focus [on the show]."

Wait, so Paris does things other than snort cocaine and get involved in hit-and-runs with her boyfriend? Writers are likely hard at work on scripts that prove this is the case.

Pathetic Paris

Joining Hilton on the series will be her mother, photographer Jennifer Rovero, socialite Allison Melnick and, yes, Charlie Sheen's recently-abused wife. Or ex-wife. Or soon-to-be-ex-wife. It's unclear.

But this much is not: Mueller has a publicized history of drug abuse, along with two small children. Is signing on for a reality show with Paris Hilton really a step in the right direction?

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Perhaps they mean that Paris Hilton's new reality television show will air on the Butter Channel. Paris Hilton's legs can be compared to pure butter, because they spread so easily. Mainstream audiences know what Paris Hilton is all about. Spin is not going to clean up her image. Miss Hilton's mediocre legacy has already been cast in stone. As for Brooke Meuller; spare us the pork.....

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Cant wait love paris Loves Brooke 2!

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Namaste, O no! Not another reality show with Paris Hilton. Shees lowees! Aren't there enough brainmelted watchers or wankers in the world? Ohm shanti.