Seven months pregnant and nearing her wedding day, Bethenny Frankel almost lost it completely this week.
But then Jason Hoppy came through for her and viewers of Bethenny Getting Married were treated to a happy ending. The entire episode is recapped below by our THG correspondent...
Yay! Our Bethenny is back! I found her to be the Bethenny we knew and loved from RHONY: witty, sassy, a little neurotic, but mostly lovable. Gone is the shrieking diva from last week who scared me half to death.
One of tonight’s funniest scenes was when Bethenny tried to squeeze into the dress she had picked out only days earlier for her bridal shower. She is expanding quickly this late in her pregnancy and things don’t fit from one day to the next. Her large boobs seem to be the problem more so than her baby bump. The dress is so tight she can’t even move her arms.
After freaking out and trying on every other dress in her closet, she ends up wearing a top as a dress and it is ridiculously short. “If I had a tampon in the string would be longer than this dress,” she says. This is the kind of line Bethenny delivers in her unique deadpan that endears her to us so much.
We see a similar situation later when Bethenny goes for a fitting of her lovely wedding dress. “I’m seven and a half months pregnant. I’m growing by the minute. I wake up every day and I don’t know what’s going to happen. And I’m eating like I’m going to the electric chair so I don’t know if I can fit into my underwear much less my wedding dress,” she says.
I love it because so many women can relate to this particular issue, pregnant or not. Who among us doesn’t hold her breath and say a little prayer when trying on a beloved item of clothing that has sat abandoned in a closet for months? You could see that familiar look of terrified anticipation passing over Bethenny’s face as the women around her zipped up her dress.
But let’s be honest here: Bethenny seven months pregnant is a hell of a lot more toned and fit than any of us will ever be even when not pregnant.
Though Bethenny did seem more relaxed overall in this episode, she was still a bit of a pill to Shawn, the beleaguered wedding planner. She berates him over the phone about choosing the perfect cake. He heaves a mighty sigh as their phone conversation ends. Then he high-tails it to Jersey to sample some cake because evidently Jersey is the only place that can pop out a wedding cake with a week’s notice. “You never want to make her unhappy,” says Shawn about Bethenny. “It’s like pregnancy hormones and it’s like scary.”
As he says this his eyes roll in together so hard it almost seems like his head might implode. He likes the red velvet cake and has worked hard to make the cream cheese frosting cream-cheesy enough for Miss Beth. Hopefully she’ll like it because if she doesn’t we can expect her not only to “rip his dick off” but also to mount his head on a stake at the wedding. Good luck, Shawn.
Elsewhere, Bethenny is trying to decide on the wedding reception menu as Jason is glued to March Madness on the boob tube. Seeing him happy and relaxed while she is so stressed makes her head just about blow off. “BEEF TARTARE? BEEF TARTARE?!” she shrieks in his direction. “I know it’s March Madness,” she says to Jason. “If you want to see March Madness, you’ll see a pregnant woman light her friggin’ hair on fire and go crazy right now.”
Jason isn’t sure what to do because she acts like she wants his help but really she just wants to make all the decisions herself because she thinks only she can make the right decisions. This is as obvious to him as it is to us, oh, and to Shawn too, of course. “You can’t hang over my head all the things that you take on. That’s your choice,” Jason says.
Bethenny then reaches a level 10 nuclear freak-out as Jason continues to recline and chillax on the couch. Her voice gets louder by the second until Jason and Cookie the dog are cringing. Then Jason asks, “Are we getting married for us or are we getting married for the production? That’s what I want to know.” It makes me wonder how he felt about signing up for this reality show in the first place.
Later, in an attempt to be more helpful and less lump-like, Jason surprises Bethenny with a trip to City Hall to get a marriage license. To me this seems like sort of a lame surprise but, whatever, it made Bethenny pretty happy. He also agrees to a honeymoon to St. Bart’s.Bethenny then hears the call of junk food and pigs out on “street meat” and a hot pretzel. She rapidly consumes the food in a corner looking as haunted and panicked as a cavewoman with the kill she chased around all day. Again, I can relate. I think this is how I probably look with a container of ice cream after a long day at work.
After the marriage license is secured, Bethenny and Jason meet with the woman who will marry them. Jason wants his deceased brother Bryan included somehow in the ceremony which seems very touching. The woman asks Bethenny who of her family will be present for the wedding and Bethenny answers, “No one,” as she wipes away tears. You really do feel for her. I can’t imagine getting married without at least one crazy uncle and a wayward cousin present.
“Can you excuse us for one second?” she asks as she begins to cry harder. “It’s just sad. It’s like I’m alone,” she says to Jason. “We’re going to have our family now, you know that?” Jason says kindly. “And you’re going to be the best mother ever, you know that.” This is a very comforting prospect to Bethenny. I love that Jason reacted to her so sensitively - he really does seem like a genuinely nice guy.
Bethenny goes to see her therapist. By the way, what are your thoughts on these visits? I am a little unsure that any legit therapist would consent to having a patient’s therapy televised due to confidentiality issues but am still unsure. I hope it’s real. Lord knows the girl needs her therapy.
The therapist thinks they need to get to Bethenny’s “core issue”: what success and money really mean to her. “My mother was always dependent upon men for money and to make decisions,” she says. Bethenny’s family’s financial situation was very up and down while she was growing up and she never felt particularly secure. She really focused on her career in her thirties and wanted to create a life where she was dependent on no one but herself.
Clearly she accomplished this goal.
When the therapist asks her if she has any reservations about marrying Jason she says, “No second thoughts.” Here is an area where I want to believe her but I am not sure. We all know the trend with Hollywood and reality T.V. marriages. So often they heat up quickly and fizzle out even faster. Seeing that she and Jason are divorcing probably wouldn’t shock anyone. I honestly hope that doesn’t happen to them but I can’t help but wonder if it will
The episode ends on a high note, one day before the wedding. Bethenny and Jason host a rehearsal luncheon at a restaurant with friends and family. Assistant Julie makes a very kind toast and Jason’s mom gives Bethenny a big smackeroo on the lips. Bethenny gives Jason a painting he’s always wanted and his truly genuine reaction brought a big smile to my face.
“It was one of the most touching things that anyone has ever done for me,” he says. “I couldn’t believe she did it.” I love seeing a really surprising and heartfelt moment on a reality show. They can tend to feel few and far between.
“You are awesome. Beautiful, awesome, and pregnant,” Jason’s dad slurs to Bethenny after gulping down several glasses of wine. After the luncheon Jason and Bethenny part until the wedding day. It kind of surprises me that they are going through with this rather quaint tradition of not sleeping together before the wedding night (Bethenny being knocked up and all) but it’s cute nonetheless.
Bethenny and Jason kiss, smile sweetly, and wave to each other as they separate. It all seems so charming and relatable…but the people standing around on the street gawking and taking photos of them kind of ruins the moment.