Tila Tequila is in need of serious help.

Unfortunately, she's signed up for phony help.

The troubled celebrity, whose only claim to fame these days is to dress like a skanky moron, has signed on for the next addition of VH1's Celebrity Rehab. There are just two problems:

1. As TMZ reports, the show is having difficulty finding other stars for the new season and there may not be one.
2. Celebrity Rehab is run by Dr. Drew Pinsky, a man interested in making money off the problems of D-listers, not actually helping them solve anything.

For now, Tila simply awaits word on whether or not VH1 will air the show again.

Until then, she'll probably lie about being pregnant again and definitely f-ck a DJ or two.