Jon Gosselin Calls Kate an Absentee Mom, Bashes Dancing with the Stars, Sues For Custody

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Jon Gosselin is not a fan of his ex-wife, or Dancing with the Stars. He's not just miffed about her horrible dancing either - dude wants custody of his kids.

Saying that Dancing with the Stars is damaging his children thanks to the super bitch from hell joining the cast, Jon wants them under his control, ASAP.

Plus money.

The douchebag will be seeking primary custody as well as spousal support in court, says Jon's new lawyer, former assistant U.S. Attorney Anthony F. List.

Unmoved by the fact that she had a makeshift dance studio installed at home, he calls Kate "an absentee mom," which he says is no surprise to anyone.

Right. Because Jon is a model citizen and parent, by contrast.

Kate G. Hair
Jon G. Contemplates

The brief truce between Jon and Kate is apparently over.

List expects to use her casting on Dancing with the Stars (which she may be voted off tonight) as proof that Kate does not spend "quality time with the eight kids."

The attorney also thinks Jon is getting hosed in the child support department, claiming "$20,000 a month is ridiculous." Needless to say, he wants that changed.

In addition to primary custody, List says he's considering asking the judge to reverse the support obligation and make Kate pay Jon. That should go over well.

Team Jon did not specify any specific figures, but it looks like he's gearing up for a full assault. So much for the newly single Jon wishing Kate luck last month.

Is Kate really an absentee mom for going on the show, or is Jon just angling for more leverage? Is it actually good that she's on DWTS to support the kids financially?

Most importantly: Who sucks more?

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Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente