Tiger Woods Sets the Record Straight

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Tiger Woods is a complicated individual.

There's the part of him that was the world's most squeaky-clean and most successful athlete, amassing 14 major golf titles by the young age of 33.

And there's the part of him that bedded all those waitresses. We're not talking isolated affairs. There are like 11 Tiger Woods mistresses ... at least.

How can a person live such drastically separate lives?

That's what we're all wondering. Now, the embattled legend is ready to tell his side of the story ... in a funny (and extremely vulgar) Funny or Die spoof.

Follow the jump to see the video (contains foul language). In the words of the world's #1 golfer: I'm Tiger Woods. I don't not win championships, but I do ...

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THE GUY IS A PUKE AND ANYONE FEELING SORRY FOR HIM IS AN IDIOT! NO WOODS THIS DOSENT QUALIFY YOU TO RUN FOR ANY POLITICAL OFFICE! I heard he uses electronic golf balls which have GPS signals in them to sink the balls into the cups containing the other signals on the greens. PUT SOME JAMMING EQUIPMENT OUT ON THE COURSES WHERE HE PLAYS AND HE WILL NEVER WIN AGAIN! I didn't go for his apology. I never cared for him much anyway, and now I know why. I especially didn't like it when he gave his opinion of the what things are all about???? He sounded like a KNOW IT ALL in a heap load of trouble. The whole thing was staged and canned it showed everytime he looked at his script! I'll never buy anything because his name is on something, as a matter of fact I will buy the other product just in spite! What a waste of time making this guy news!!!!!!!! The only thing this guy cares about is the money that he is losing, and about to lose to those chics he slept with, and to his wife.

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Some of the comments here are downright retarded. Everything is Tiger this and Tiger that, and OMG, sponsors should, and blah, blah, blah. I'm willing to bet that most of the comments are from women. How ironic that they don't seem to see any fault in the women who are involved. After all, what kind of woman goes after a guy who's marital status can be found on tv, the web, and in newspapers. Answer: One who seeks money and fame.

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VC - this site IS called Celebrity Gossip. What do you expect?

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How many soldiers dided defending our country today? Do any of you know?

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I second what Jenni says. This sponsors made millions off of him and could continue to do so once he turns things back around. They all jumped on board ever since they saw the talent he had as the worlds best golfer and how much $$$ they could make from him. I'd like (actually not) to hear about all of the skeletons and secrets of the executives from these corporate sponsors. I've heard about some of those parties and promotion events and their wives wouldn't be too happy at them either. This is his personal life and should stay that way and the sponsors should stick with him.

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Remind me why we're judging someone we don't even know personally, again?

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All these ignorant sponsors will regret their decisions when all this blows over. Cheating on your wife 100 times over will never make him a terrible golfer. You would have to cut his arms off to accomplish that!!! Good Luck Accenture in 2010 and beyond....you will need it!!!

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I have been watching tiger play golf since he started the PGA...I really wish the media would leave him and his family alone. If he was an "average joe"which I bet he wished he was right about now, no one would care. Tiger is no doubt about it wrong fore being unfaithful to his wife and family, but if he has asked for forgiveness from his wife that's all he needs to worry about. He doesn't owe us as spectators or the media any explanation. Tiger my thoughts and prayers are with u, ur wife, and children..also we don't know exactly what tiger has done, but for the record I don't think all of these women coming out of the wood work are for real, their just trying to make a quick buck. No I'm not blind..just have common sense and know that there are two sides to every story...tiger don't leave me hanging too long..give ur side.....

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Seriously... c'mon you guys! We should all be ashamed of ourselves, especially those who are hounding Tiger and Elin. Would you want your transgressions,however small or large, played out in the court of public opinion?? Sure, he's made some serious mistakes. Haven't you? This is NONE of our business. Let he/she who is OR he/she who thinks he/she is without sin, throw the first stone. More likely the stones should be dropped at our side and we should keep quiet.

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*she = should
Tag Hauer=Tag Heuer Tiger deserves no sympathy. Sex addict or not - just like with drugs - once you become aware you have a problem, if you don't put the drug in your body, you won't get high. If you realize, oh say , at about #4 or #5 of your (minimum) 11 conquests that you've got a serious problem, you're not living up to your contract to another human being. That said, his contracts with ALL sponsors should be under review. He obviously doesn't take his obligations seriously.

Tiger Woods Biography

Tiger and Charlie Woods Tiger Woods is the best golfer in the history of the world. The talented athlete has also married a blonde bombshell and inspired... More »
Born
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Tiger Woods
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