"The bitch is back" is one tagline MTV has used to promote the revamped version of The Hills, which returns on September 29 starring Kristin Cavallari.
Guess that edged out "Hilariously contrived drama is back."
It's hard to tell what's more fake, the boobs of Heidi Montag or her debate with Spencer over whether to have kids, but either way, there’s lots going on!
Not the least of which? The "return" of Kristin Cavallari, Laguna Beach rival of Lauren Conrad, who's now stepping into the footsteps of the retired LC.
And hitting on Justin-Bobby, as if that were remotely feasible.
Yes, that loser is still around. Audrina Patridge thinks she’s moved on, but may not be ready to see him with another girl. Especially one named Kristin.
“She’s the girl that’s going to stab us all in the back and doesn’t care,” Stephanie Pratt reads off cue cards, talking about Kristin's "return" (even though she was never around to begin with). “How can one person turn our lives upside down?”
Because MTV paid her a lot to stir up drama, that's how.
In Speidi Land, a certain bimbo is fake-pressuring her husband to knock her up, as we hinted above. That will be even harder for them to stage than their Cabo wedding, but we imagine they are up to the challenge.
Lastly, Lo Bosworth and the uber-annoying Stephanie Pratt are looking more plastic than ever. How psyched are you for The Hills to return in four weeks?
Check out the Season Five trailer below ...