Useless wife Ashlee Simpson is "awesome" in the sack, Pete Wentz told Howard Stern.
"We have an amazing sex life," the Fall Out Boy douchebag bassist said while promoting the band's album, Folie a Deux. "We have such sexual chemistry. If we had been on this show last year, we'd probably be doing it in the green room right now."
"Hopefully, the kid doesn't change it," he added, referring to their newborn son Bronx Mowgli. Currently, they don't have sex - "the kid's a few weeks old," Wentz said - but "we do other fun stuff." Wonder what he means by that.
Wentz said it took some time to convince Simpson to hook up with him. But once he did, it was "the single best sexual encounter I have ever had."
"It was at the Soho Grand Hotel in New York, and I'm looking in the mirrors, thinking, 'Oh my God, you are [sleeping with] the girl of your dreams, and you can watch yourself!'" said Wentz, whose dreams apparently weren't very lofty.
Wentz told Stern that Ashlee Simpson also "loves giving me lap dances. She gives a mean lap dance." She wears thongs and "sexy clothes."
He went on to say that Simpson's body is already hot three weeks after giving birth. Normally she wears a C-cup "but with breast milk, [she's] a D."
Wow, now that's hot. Nothing turns a guy on like breast milk.
She weighed "up to 150 [pounds]" while pregnant, Pete Wentz revealed, but "it's dropped nicely ... it's blazing off her." Funny how that works.
He also said he never fantasizes about equally worthless but significantly hotter sister-in-law Jessica Simpson: "I think about her as my sister," he said.
These days, Jessica is with Tony Romo, the star quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys. Pete Wentz said he "can definitely see" a wedding happening.
"There's a connection there," he said. "I think Jess has gone through a lot in the last couple years, and I think she's got her head screwed on straight."