One week after she canceled James Charles, YouTube star Tati Westbrook has a new heartfelt message for fans.
She is explaining her hiatus from beauty vlogging and admitting that she has some regrets about her callout video.
With tears in her eyes, Tati says that she doesn't hate James. She wants the cruel memes to stop.
"I do want the hate to stop," Tati says during her new, 18-minute video.
"I want the picking sides and the abusive memes and the language," she continues. "And all of that."
"I really hope on both sides it can stop," she expresses.
Tati insists: "That's not why I made the video."
Tati explains the true goal that she had in mind.
The 40-minute callout post that upended James Charles' whole career was actually "last ditch effort to be really loud and vocal."
"It was me trying to reach someone that was completely unreachable," Tati continues.
"It's about someone who reaches, across all platforms, 30 million people," she notes. "That are predominantly children."
She wanted his bad behavior to stop because his audience was so impressionable and might think that his actions were okay.
"He is losing the ability to get honest more and more each day," Tati observed of James.
He went from a relatively unknown beauty vlogger to a celebrity worth $12 million -- all while he was a teenager.
Tati feared "I'm losing the ability to reach [out to him]."
She now explains that James had displayed "zero respect" for their friendship.
Tati wants people to know that this is no longer about how he betrayed her by endorsing another brand of beauty vitamins.
"I don't hate James Charles," she emphasizes. "I don't want you guys hating on him."
"It's painful to watch someone that you have cared for be dragged," she expresses.
Tati adds: "and to know that this started because of me."
"I don't think anyone deserves that," she says.
If she doesn't want him raked across the coals like this, why even do the callout?
"I think people deserve a wake-up call," Tati shares. "And people deserve to be called out for actions."
"I think someone's got to do it," she admits.
Tati hopes that her carefully laid out video will inspire parents. Does ... does she see herself as James' mom?
"I hope that this inspires parents to have more conversations with their kids," Tati says. "Because we are losing that."
James is almost 20. Tati is 37. We can see how she'd feel a sense of responsibility.
"I can't say this enough," Tati again emphasizes, "I love James Charles. I loved him from the moment I met him."
"He was like this underdog kid that everyone took a s--t on," she characterizes.
"That's how I felt for a long time," she adds.
"So I felt like I needed to help him somehow," Tati explains. "Like I needed to help him because it was helping me."
"I know a lot of people aren't going to understand," Tati says. "Or they think this is fake."
Some have suggested that this wasn't a revenge scheme, but a publicity stunt.
"Or that they think that there was this big agenda or anything," she continues. "There's not."
"If I could give all of the new success back, and the new subscribers back," Tati vows. "I would."
"I am taking a time-out," Tati explains. "And just needing to not be on social media."
Earlier this week, she warned her fans that she was on a hiatus from making videos.
Tati is doing this "because it's a really dark place for me right now."
"And I need to figure out what my next move is spiritually for me," she adds.
Tati continues: "and what this means to me, because if it's all about money I don't want to do it."
"So, yes, I am hurting," Tati admits. "But so is James."
"And so is our community and a huge audience," she notes. "And I guess I just pray that we can all just be kind with each other through this."
"I'm going to take a time-out," she reiterates. "And I'm going to come back and I'm going to continue to play with make-u."
Tati will do so "because it makes me the happiest."
She promises that she won't prove herself to be a hypocrite after calling out James Charles.
"And I promise you," Tati vows. "I am going to hold myself to an even higher standard."
She adds: "because this is forcing me to really look at what really matters, and is working so much really worth it?"
"And is doing all of this at such a speed really worth it?" Tati asks.
Yes, her bank account answers.
"And so," Tati says. "There's just a lot changing and I am so grateful for this whole journey because it's made me a better person."
Hopefully, it's doing favors for James Charles' character, as well.
"And," Tati expresses to her fans and follows. "I owe that to YouTube and I owe that to you guys."
Wow, YouTube made someone a better person?
That may be a first.