If Woody Allen's relationship with his stepdaughter Soon-Yi Previn is something you'd consider romantic, this video might be right up your alley.
Supercreep Doug Hutchison stopped by the set of The Mother/Daughter Experiment and regaled the cast with the tale of how he fell in love with Courtney Stodden.
At the time, Doug was a little-known, 50-year-old actor and Courtney was a sprightly 16 years old.
While stroking a tiny white dog dressed like she's about to perform a tap dance on Toddlers & Tiaras, Doug begins his story as the mothers and daughters listen intently.
"After I found out about Courtney's age, I had a really frank talk with Krista (Courtney's mom)," he purred.
"I said, listen, I don't know if you know what's going on here, but your daughter and I are falling for each other," he continued.
"And Krista said, 'You're a good person and I don't have any problem with you and Courtney continuing to explore this together."
At this point, the ladies in the room are shooting the most EPIC side-eyes we've seen on record.
We'd like to give special props to Natalie Nunn, Heidi Montag, Shar Jackson and Kim Richards for their contributions.
(Side note: when Heidi Montag thinks your life is whack, you know you better check yourself.)
Doug continues his grody narrative, which at this juncture is sounding rather dubious.
“Courtney was being courted by tons of men," he tells the crowd. "Closer to her age, wealthier than me, more famous. From sports figures to politicians to sheiks in the Middle East.”
Natalie Nunn, bless her heart, calls bullsh*t.
"What the f**k, dude," she says in her confessional. "Sheiks?! How are sheiks finding a 16-year-old?"
We tend to agree.
Doug honestly expects us to believe that instead of selecting a younger, hotter, wealthier suitor, Court settled on his raggedy ass?
More likely, the child's fame-hungry momager Krista Keller saw the D-list actor as her best shot at the limelight and plopped Courtney right into his pinky-ringed hands.
We're guessing it was some time after that when Krista fell in love with Doug herself.
Yep, the story gets even more disgusting.
Now if you'll pardon me, I'm off to find some Coca-Cola syrup.